Remove Body Part Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

483 Results for Remove Body Part

View 21 - 30 results for remove body part comic strips. Discover the best "Remove Body Part" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Mouthing Ted's Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Mouthing Ted's Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #computer software, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to take over Ted's software upgrade. Can you finish that in a week? Dilbert: Are you kidding? It will take a week just to bad-mouth his existing code to everyone within walking distance. Boss: Is that part necessary? Dilbert: Like water to a fish.

Resistance Is Futile

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resistance Is Futile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #thoughts, #computer, #commands, #individual, #part, #collective, #internet, #sexy, #resistance, #futile

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:

Coffee Machine Tries To Escape

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Machine Tries To Escape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #coffee machine, #artificial intelligence, #robots, #engineering, #scared

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee machine. It hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape. The Boss: Do what you need to do, but don't scare our other robots. Dilbert: I plan to kill it and drink its head.

Mind Reader Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Reader Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paranoia, #body language, #assume, #assumption, #conclusions

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Why do you hate the plan so much? Dilbert: I don't hate the plan. I like the plan. Man: No, I can tell by the way you chose your words that you hate it. Now I can tell by your face that you hate me. Dilbert: You're like a blind squirrel who brings his own nuts to the park.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #suggestion, #listening, #conclusions, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe you could remove a few slides to make your deck shorter. Man: So you're saying I should give up on trying to be persuasive? Dilbert: No, I"m saying it would be more persuasive if it were shorter. Man: So you're saying that having zero slides would be the most persuasive of all? Dilbert: No. I'm saying you have more slides than you need. Man: So you're saying people don't need accurate information as long as they don't have lots of slides? Dilbert:I'm not saying anything like that! Boss: Did Dilbert have any suggestions? Man: Just crazy ones.

Spittle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spittle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise, #fitness, #fad, #bossercise, #yelling, #criticism, #managers, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: If you need me, I'll be Bossercizing. Carol: What? Boss: It's a combination of walking around and spittle-yelling at underperformers. Carol: Is the spittle part necessary? Boss: Thhtop queth-tioning me!!!

Purchasing Did Not Order Part

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Purchasing Did Not Order Part - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delays, #excuses, #laziness, #work ethic, #scapegoat, #deadline, #delay

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.

Press Release About Hack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Press Release About Hack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #damage control, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hackers got our customer data. Write a press release saying we are sorry and it will never happen again. Tina: Is any of that true? Boss: Part of it is. Tina: Which part. Boss: Hackers got our customer data.

Totally Painless Brain Removal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Totally Painless Brain Removal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cryogenic, #science, #lab, #pain, #experiment

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Advice. Dogbert: We'll remove your brain and freeze it until your investments are worth a fortune. Man: Does it hurt? Dogbert: Totally painless. Man: Aaaagh! It hurts! Dogbert: Oh. I thought we were talking about me.

Cryogenic Investment Firm

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cryogenic Investment Firm  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cryogenic, #intelligence, #rich people

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Firm. Dogbert: We'll freeze your brain for 200 years and then transplant it into a 3-D printed body. By then, your investments will be worth a fortune. Man: Is there any risk to my brain? Dogbert: You'll have an IQ of 45, but that doesn't matter when you're rich.