Rolex Accident Comic Strips - Page 3
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Tina: I heard you had a freak accident while vacuuming your house naked. Dilbert: That's a rumor. I don't know how that stuff spreads. Tina: Now I feel a little bad that I told thirty people.
Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.
Catbert: The board wants you to be our acting CEO until our regular CEO recovers from his Rolex accident. Boss: Buwhahaha!!! The power has gone to my head and obliterated my last crumb of human decency! Catbert: You're creeping me out. Boss: I'm going to buff my shoes with you, my furry friend.
Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!
Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's that guy. Coworker: You never returned any of my messages. Dilbert: I was busy. Coworker: For six months? Dilbert: Well, no... only for a week. But it would have been awkward to respond after ignoring you for so long. Coworker: So your plan was to avoid me forever even though we work on the same floor? Dilbert: No. I've seen the quality of your work and I figured there was a 60% chance that you would die in a workplace accident that the average idiot could easily avoid. For the record, I'm the one who was trying to avoid this conversation.
Asok: I know it feels unimportant to be an intern to another intern, but if I ever get into a serious accident then... Coworker: I would step into your job? Asok: I was going to say your organs will be harvested to save me, but now you've made it awkward. Coworker: Sorry!
The Boss says, "Why did you reject my friend request on Facebook?" Carol says, "I'm not your friend. I'm a disgruntled wage slave who hopes you die in a freak industrial accident tomorrow at 3PM." The Boss says, "That's disturbingly specific." Carol says, "Hey, look. You have a meeting at the warehouse tomorrow."
Asok says, "Alice, a horrible accident has given me a goat head. I need you to slap me so hard that I change species from the neck up." Alice says, "Hold still, Asok. This might take a few tries." Two Hours Later Alice says, "Dolphin is close! One more should do it."
The Boss says, "Asok, my security clearance was accidentally canceled. I need your help." Asok says, "Maybe you could live in the ductwork, and forage for stale donuts after dark." The Boss says, "How can I fit in there?" Asok says, "Try foraging as effectively as you manage."
The Boss says, "My security access was accidentally canceled and now I'm a fugitive." The Boss says, "Can you teach me to be as useless as you are so I'm invisible for all practical purposes?" Guard says, "I hear breathing but it must be the HVAC system." Wally says, "Be the cubicle."