Ruin Productivity Comic Strips - Page 3

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143 Results for Ruin Productivity

View 21 - 30 results for ruin productivity comic strips. Discover the best "Ruin Productivity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Call My Lost Phone

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Call My Lost Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags productivity, unproductive, cell phone, ringing, frustration, annoy, annoyance, technology

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Boss: I don't know where I left my phone. Can you call it? Dilbert: Sure, but it will make both of us unproductive instead of just you. Narrator: And then there were three. Alice: Gaaaa!!! Where is that ringing coming from???

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, deadline, free time, death march, payment, salary, pay check, bonus, non caring, cold, heartless monster, no sense shame, money

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The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags micromanaging, managers, productivity, google

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Boss: I have a meeting in a few minutes, so I only have time to do some micromanaging. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better do do regular managing? Boss: I don't have time for the regular kind. Dilbert: Then wouldn't it be better to do no managing at all? Boss: Some is better than none. Dilbert: Except when less is more. Boss: This got too complicated. How about I just stand behind you and suggest you Google stuff? Dilbert: Fine. I wish I had some data for this. Boss: Try Googling it.rnet,

Robots In Management

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Robots In Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, loopholes, robot, automation, murder, killing, productivity

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Boss: Our experiment with robots in management has been a success. Productivity is way up since they started killing the low-performing humans. CEO: But... that's murder. Boss: Only when humans do it. We found a loophole.

Wally Waits For Information

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Wally Waits For Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags procrastination, laziness, work ethic, deception

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Wally: Should I start working on my project now or wait until I have more information. Boss: When you put it that way, I guess you should wait. Dilbert: Isn't there always "more" information to be had? Wally: Don't ruin this for me.

Exposition

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Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, brain, nanotechnology, microchip, ego, storytelling, exposition

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Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

Delegating

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Delegating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags workload, productivity, progress

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Dilbert: I worked all weekend and finished my project early. Now I don't have all of that stress hanging over me. Feels great! Unless you plan to punish me for my productivity. Boss: I call it delegating.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

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Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, language, nonsense, productivity, illusion, alternate reality

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Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

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Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, genius, work ethic, efficiency

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Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar

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Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags politeness, conversation, etiquette, efficiency, illogical

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar. Today you will learn how to sacrifice your productivity and your happiness for the sake of ancient traditions grounded in total nonsense.Voice: Why would we want to do that? Dogbert: Please hold your impolite questions until never.