Run On Sentences Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

169 Results for Run On Sentences

View 21 - 30 results for run on sentences comic strips. Discover the best "Run On Sentences" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Tosses Catbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Tosses Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executive, #ceo, #delegate, #respoinsibilities, #punishment

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #work ethic, #existentialism, #suffering, #death, #philosophy, #pessimism, #Advice, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Promotion, #saving face, #executives, #bad advice, #bad ideas, #mentor, #mentoring

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #project, #behind schedule, #dark fast, #death, #die, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your project is behind schedule. Is there any to finish sooner? Alice: Well, in the long run, we all die, so you could die right now and get to your endpoint faster. Boss: You went dark fast. Alice: I had that one in the hopper.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #trees, #computer model, #genetically modify, #tree growth, #rare earth minerals, #run a trail, #money dents grow on trees, #fault

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My computer model indicates that I can genetically modify a tree to grow leaves made of rare earth minerals. All I need is a hundred dollars to run a trial. Boss: Sorry. Money doesn't grow on trees. Dilbert: Well, now we know whose fault that is. Boss: Strangers?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #fusion powered robot, #speed of light, #budget, #micromanaged, #leadership, #needy followers, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Great leaders set high standards and stay out of the way. So... I want you to build a fusion-powered robot that can run faster than the speed of light! While you're doing that, I'll be staying out of your way. You won't see or hear from me. I won't even respond to email. Dilbert: Is there a budget for this impossible project? Boss: Sheesh! Look who needs to be micromanaged! Now I can't go hide. You've ruined my leadership! Boss: It's hard to be a great leader when all of my followers are so needy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #sales personnel, #offer discount, #chair, #runaway

View Transcript

Transcript

Salesman vs. Engineer Dilbert: Can you offer us a discount? Salesman: I had something like that in mind, except instead of giving a discount, I would hit you with a chair and run away. Dilbert: Please don't do that. Salesman: Okay, but I'll have to charge you extra.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #surveillance, #government databases, #rest passwords, #case file, #face on pennies

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I thought you were on the run for hacking the government's databases. Dilbert: I was. But they forgot to reset their passwords, so I deleted my case file and gave myself a tax break. Wally: Did you get me anything? Dilbert: You're the new face on pennies.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #lawyers, #software, #license, #legal dept, #services, #email, #open source, #definsition, #forge signature, #software license, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you approve the purchase of this software? Boss: You need to run the software license past legal first. Lawyer: You need to fill out a legal services request form. I'll email it to you. Make sure you specify whether the software is open source or not. Dilbert: How would I know if it meets your definition of open source? Lawyer: It depends how the license is written. You'll need to ask legal to review it. Dilbert: Never mind. I'll just forge your signature on the form. Lawyer: Maybe this is why I've never seen a software license.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complicated issue, #conversation, #finish sentences, #meeting, #smarter, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wow. This is a complicated issue. Maybe you should run it past someone who is... Dilbert: Smarter. Boss: I think you'd be better letting me end my own... Dilbert: Life?