Sabotage Profits Comic Strips - Page 3

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66 Results for Sabotage Profits

View 21 - 30 results for sabotage profits comic strips. Discover the best "Sabotage Profits" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new vice president of engineering, #office, #lack of experience, #revenge, #office politics, #worry, #sabotage, #best engineer, #4g, #skeptical, #false information

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The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #scheme, #meeting, #payment, #greed, #money, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My base pay will be one dollar per year. The rest will be stock incentives." Dilbert says, "That guarantees you will reap obscene profits when the overall stock market improves, no matter what you do." Dogbert says, "Pretend you don't know that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #greed, #meeting, #evil, #anger, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Our new financial product is a hybrid of risky mortgage loans and a ponzi scheme." Dogbert says, "We'll cover our bad losses with our profits from making even worse loans." Dogbert says, "I'll need some wagging room while It tell you how this ties into my bonus structure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #selfishness, #rudeness, #sales, #internet, #confusion, #sabotage, #business, #technology

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The lucky sales guy man says, "My sales quotas were set too low. I plan to buy a yacht with my commissions." man says, "Would you mind programming the navigation system so I can get drunk while my boat takes me places?" Asok says, "Why are you researching where all the pirates attack?" Dilbert says, "It's better if you don't know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #anger, #firing, #frustration, #rudeness, #profits falling, #worthless sack of monkey spit, #birds ate brain, #regurgitate pellets

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The Boss says, "Ted, profits are falling. I have to downsize you." Ted says, "You worthless sack of monkey spit! I hope the birds that ate your brain regurgitate pellets down your neck!" Ted says, "I have lots more, but I don't want to burn any bridges."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2006's comic on:


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"My PowerPoint presentation is a vision of beauty and persuasion." "It will make engineers weep, and profits will rain down from the sky." "Jeepers. What kind of limping scrod is that?" "The good kind!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #inspirational, #failed to motivate, #cowowrkers, #sabotage career

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Wally; "Once again you have failed to motivate me." Wally: "I don't want to become like my coworkers, always plotting ways to sabotage your career." Wally: "Now would be a good time for you to say something inspirational."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #main prodcut, #coming off patent, #profits will plunge, #shallowm, #paid for there inventions

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Our main product is coming off patent. "Profits will plunge and so will my bonus. It's not fair." "Call me shallow. But I enjoy getting paid for other people's inventions." "SHALLOW!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health

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CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #earned 100 million, #senior management, #unexpended stock options, #incentivized

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CEO: "Tomorrow I'll tell the stockholders that we earned $100 million!" dilbert: "Will you tell them that you gave all of their profits to senior management in the form of unexpensed stock options?" "We had to be incentivized." "So you wouldn't take their furniture, too?"