Said In Meeting Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for said in meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Said In Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Any Questions

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 Any Questions  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #company, #conclusion, #end, #face masks, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #question, #vision

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boss: okay, that's all for today unless anyone has a question. alice, boss & dilbert thinking: please let it end. please let it end. please let it end. co-worker: what's the company vision? unison: GAAA!!!

Dilbert Can Answer Questons

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 Dilbert Can Answer Questons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #business, #delegate, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #project, #question, #sarcasm, #awkward

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boss: dilbert can answer any of your questions, but i have another meeting. dilbert: not really. i have no involvement in the project. he just told me to follow him to this room. co-worker: well, this is awkward. dilbert: how about i go to the restroom and never come back?

We Have No Strategy

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We Have No Strategy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #strategy, #meeting, #complain, #cheap, #jealous, #wisdom

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boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy

Wally Took Notes

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Wally Took Notes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #co-workers, #forward, #hungry, #insults, #intelligence, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #notes, #pandemic, #release, #schedule, #snack, #technology, #version, #covid

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staff in conference room and all wearing face masks. dilbert: we agreed at our last meeting to postpone the version release. tina: no, we agreed to do it sooner. dilbert: i don't think so. who took notes at the last meeting? wally: i did. click wally: forwarding those notes to each of you. dilbert: um...your notes are mostly insults about the intelligence of your co-workers and...some sort of snack list. this is no help at all. wally: don't blame me. i'm not the one who schedules these meetings when i'm hungry.

Stopping Theft Everywhere

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Stopping Theft Everywhere - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #technology, #system, #reduce, #theft, #dumb, #product

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dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.

Virus Hellscape

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Virus Hellscape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #diseases, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic

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Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.

Sciencesplainer New

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Sciencesplainer   New  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sarcasm, #business, #sciencesplainer, #meetings, #interrupt, #condescending, #science

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boss in meeting wearing face mask: i hired a sciencesplainer for our meetings. he'll interrupt us every ten minutes to explain, in a condescending way, how science works. dilbert wearing face mask: why do we need that? boss: it's just something we do.

Carol Hoards

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Carol Hoards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health, #office supplies, #copy paper, #hoarding, #shortage, #coronavirus

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dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.

No Time Before Next Meeting

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No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time

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dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Dilbert Did Not Say That

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Dilbert Did Not Say That  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #boss, #prototype, #authority, #idiot, #liar, #innocent, #guilty

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co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!