Sales Personnel Comic Strips - Page 3

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202 Results for Sales Personnel

View 21 - 30 results for sales personnel comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Personnel" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Ninjas

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Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags controversy, offense, offensive, threat, murder, ninja, optimism

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Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.

Elbonian Cabbage Juggling

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Elbonian Cabbage Juggling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags offense, offensive, racist, racism

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Dilbert: Here's my first cut at a sales video for our Elbonian market segment. Video: If you enjoy juggling cabbages while overdrinking, you'll love our products! Boss: This sounds kind of racist. Dilbert: Inebriated cabbage-juggling is their national sport.

Elbonian Sales Video Assignment

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Elbonian Sales Video Assignment  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags culture, catch-22, misunderstanding, communication

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Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

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Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiating, deception, sales, manipulation, deal, business

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Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!

Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, blame, executives, scapegoat

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Dilbert: Our sales for the quarter were zero. CEO: Heads will roll! Whose fault is this. Dilbert: It's entirely your fault. You told a reporter that our next version will be amazing. So all of our customers are waiting for the new version. The only sensible solution here is for you to admit your mistake and resign in utter humiliation. CEO: Or... I could blame this guy, whatever his name is. Man: That isn't right. CEO: Looks like I'll be adding insubordination to the charges.

Sales Is Blaming Marketing

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Sales Is Blaming Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales, responsibility, blame, business

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Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.

Blame Rolls Downhill

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Blame Rolls Downhill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, responsibility, management

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Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?

Weak Sales Reorg

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Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, money, golden parachute, greed, logic, sales, business

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Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.

Boss Buys Software Without Help

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Boss Buys Software Without Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad advice, Advice, sales, lying, deception, business

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Boss: I bought new software for our network. Dilbert: Who helped you on the technical side? Boss: The vendor. He said our current software uses the wrong kind of electricity.