Shake Hands Comic Strips - Page 3
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
499 Results for Shake Hands
View 21 - 30 results for shake hands comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hands" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 10,
2017
Dilbert Tries To Get Funding
Tags budget, money, spending, projects, upgrades, technology, software, engineering
Transcript
Man: Who are you? Dilbert: I'm an engineer on an unfunded project. I'm attending random meetings to see if I can shake loose some spare budget money. Man: We'll be talking about the mandatory software upgrade. Dilbert: Sounds like a huge waste of money.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday August 04,
2016
Drone Defense System
Thursday April 21,
2016
Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software
Tags national security, privacy, technology, encryption, security, human error, secrets
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.
Friday January 08,
2016
Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet
Monday April 13,
2015
Embellishing Resume At Work
Tags leadership, self-promotion, embellishment, managers
Transcript
Boss: One of my employees keeps embellishing his accomplishments. CEO: If he works in engineering, fire him. If he works in marketing, promote him. Boss: He doesn't work at all. CEO: Sounds like you have a leader on your hands.
Friday January 02,
2015
Dilbert Meets The Mom
Tags dating, low standards, meeting people, parents, mother, efficiency, ebola, shake hands, Family, relationships
Transcript
Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!
Friday April 25,
2014
Tags can't memorize names, handshake, simultaneously, names, introductions
Transcript
Randy: Hi. I'm Randy. Dilbert: I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time. Randy: It's Randy. Dilbert; Don't even bother. Seriously.
Thursday September 05,
2013
Tags embarrassment, internet & world wide web, interviews, resume, old way, job interview, data online data, ew, disgust, walked out
Transcript
Boss: I don't need to see your resume. That's the old way of hiring. Now we use data from the Internet to see what you've been up to lately. Ew. Applicant: I'll show myself out. Boss: You'll understand if I don't shake your hand.
Sunday August 25,
2013
Tags natural disasters, disaster preparedness, famine, keyboard, crumbs, alene invasion, kill a coworker, lizard people, impending collison, asteroid, running in place, earth rotates, planet, hit by asteroid, human flesh, presentation is a disater
Transcript
Wally: I've been asked to explain our disaster preparedness plan. In the event of a famine, turn your keyboard upside down and shake. If it's anything like mine, you'll find a pound and a half of crumbs. In the event of an alien invasion, your best bet is to kill a co-worker to show your allegiance to the lizard-people. In the event of an impending collision with an asteroid, try running in place while the Earth rotates. If you time it right, you'll be on the other side of the planet when the asteroid hits. To prepare for every other type of disaster, I recommend cultivating a taste for human flesh. Boss: Your presentation is a disaster. Wally: And next time you'll be prepared for it.
Wednesday May 08,
2013
Tags anger, etiquette & ethics, biggest customer, random drug sample, awkward
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I'd like you to meet the CEO of the company that is our biggest customer. Wally: I'd shake but I have coffee in one hand, my random drug test sample in the other, and I don't want either one to get cold. Hey, I'm not the one who made this awkward.


