She Lied Comic Strips - Page 3

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328 Results for She Lied

View 21 - 30 results for she lied comic strips. Discover the best "She Lied" comics from Dilbert.com.

Everyone Says Dilbert Lied

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Everyone Says Dilbert Lied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor, #accusation, #conclusions

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Man: Everyone says you moved the server rack and lied about it. Dilbert: Everyone is wrong. It didn't happen. Man: Oh, so it's your word against literally "everyone?" Is that what you're saying? I'll go with the majority on this, thank you very much. Dilbert: I want to like people, but they don't make it easy.

Dilbert Might Have Lied

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Dilbert Might Have Lied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumors, #sources, #journalism, #accusation

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Man: I heard you lied about moving the server rack. Dilbert: It isn't true. Man: I heard it from several sources. Dilbert: Each of them heard it from the same source, who was wrong. Man: With that much smoke, there must be a fire. Dilbert: Yes, but it's coming out of your ears.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #mumbling, #speech, #understanding

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Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.

Tina Won't Stop Talking

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Tina Won't Stop Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #company policy, #politeness, #etiquette, #time, #talking

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Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

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A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #mistake, #boss, #review, #human resources, #revenge, #business

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Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

Just What She Thought

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Just What She Thought - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #technology, #conversation, #social interaction, #antisocial

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Woman: I'd better check this. It's just what I thought. Dilbert: What did you think? Woman: I thought I would enjoy my phone more than talking to you.

Mom Drone

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Mom Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drone, #surveillance, #mom, #mothers, #spying

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Asok: Hey, you have one of those cool selfie drones! Dilbert: No, I keep forgetting to call my mom, so she sent a drone to watch me. Asok: Is that legal? Dilbert: I checked. It's not trespassing unless it lands.

Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife

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Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Women, #wives, #wife, #work spouse, #game, #scam, #ruse, #relationships

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Dilbert: Alice, I am breaking up with you as my work wife. Tina complains less and she sends me on fewer errands, so I choose her. Alice: What's your game? Tina: I'm running a bait-and-switch on him.

Dilbert Cheats On His Work Wife

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Dilbert Cheats On His Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #wife, #wives, #adultery, #cheating, #criticism, #nagging, #anger, #marriage, #roles, #relationships

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Alice: There' s rumor that you're cheating on me with another "work wife." Dilbert: I let Tina criticize me a little. But I swear it didn't mean anything. And... she makes me look for her lost keys. Alice: I knew it!

Wally's Lateness Excuse

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Wally's Lateness Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuse, #lying

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Boss: Why are you two hours late for work? Wally: Your wife didn't want to bother you, so she called me and asked if I would go to your house and see if she left her curling iron plugged in. Do you believe me, or do you want to risk being the first person she calls next time. Boss: Well played.