Show Status Comic Strips - Page 3

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357 Results for Show Status

View 21 - 30 results for show status comic strips. Discover the best "Show Status" comics from Dilbert.com.

Airport Scanners

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Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #video, #security camera, #tsa, #air travel

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CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.

Dogbert's Reality Show

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Dogbert's Reality Show - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #television, #reality, #cell phone, #battery, #charging, #Entertainment, #technology

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Dogbert: I'm creating a reality TV show about ten people locked in a room with one electrical outlet. The central tension will revolve around their daily struggle to charge their phones. Dilbert: Is violence allowed? Dogbert: No, but my producers get a big bonus if it happens anyway.

Dashboard Never Changes

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Dashboard Never Changes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deception, #trick, #technology, #status, #ruse

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Boss: I noticed that the project dashboard you wrote for me never changes. Dilbert: That's because our projects are always doing great. Boss: It's a static image, isn't it? Dilbert: You're gonna wish you asked that three weeks ago.

Dashboard For The Boss

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Dashboard For The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #ruse, #trick, #deception.

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Dilbert: It's called a dashboard. It shows the current status of all our projects. With a tool like this, you never need to ask us for status updates. Wally: How'd the fake dashboard gambit work out? Dilbert: Great! He hasn't talked to me in weeks.

Being More Honest

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Being More Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #advertising, #honesty, #cover-up, #performance, #shortcoming, #business

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Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #advising, #teenagers, #parents, #Parenting, #tattoo, #piercing, #terrorism, #boundaries

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Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.

Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet

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Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #numbers, #math, #blame, #messenger, #education

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Dilbert: My boss asked me to show you some numbers he put together. CEO: Why are you wearing gloves? Dilbert: I'm afraid to get it on my hands.

Robot Wants To Code

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Robot Wants To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #machine, #employment, #obsolete, #skills, #competition, #labor

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Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

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Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work, #labor, #free, #taking advantage, #side job, #boss, #conflict of interest

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Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #quality, #work ethic, #shortcut, #laziness, #defective, #awards, #engineer, #engineering

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CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!