Solving Problem Comic Strips - Page 3
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392 Results for Solving Problem
View 21 - 30 results for solving problem comic strips. Discover the best "Solving Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 16,
2019
Tags #business, #office, #rules, #quotes, #chaos, #purchasing
Transcript
purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes. dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product. purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules. dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so. purchasing manager: that would be chaos. Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules. dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge. purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.
Monday June 10,
2019
Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner
Tags #business, #career, #information, #office, #problem
Transcript
the boss to dilbert: why didn't you tell me about this problem earlier? dilbert: because you would have made decisions based on incomplete information and ruined my career. the boss walking away: okay, i didn't realize that was obvious.
Thursday June 06,
2019
Doctor Appointment
Tags #business, #doctor, #office, #office workers, #medical advice, #essential oil, #attitude, #kava
Transcript
carol: i have a doctor's appointment today. the boss: doctor? bah! the boss: all you need are some essential oils and a supplement or two. carol: has anyone ever survived your medical advice? the boss: some kava could fix your attitude problem.
Saturday May 11,
2019
Twitch Gets You More Work
Tags #business, #communication, #office, #office workers, #project
Transcript
the boss: does anyone have an idea for fixing our communication problem with marketing? dilbert, alice, wally and asok thinking: must...not...speak or else he will assign the project to me. the boss: i saw your eye twitch. the project is all yours. alice: GAAAA!!! visually upset
Friday May 10,
2019
Bad Planning
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #teamwork, #team, #deadline
Transcript
ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.
Thursday April 25,
2019
New Feature Added
Tags #business, #marketing, #office, #office workers, #time travel
Transcript
the boss: i need you to add a feature to our product because our marketing campaign says we already have it. dilbert: no problem. what's the feature? the boss: time travel. the boss: how long will it take to add that feature? dilbert: if i'm successful, i'll have it done by last week.
Tuesday April 02,
2019
Not In My Town
Tags #business, #engineering, #office, #office workers, #nuclear
Transcript
dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.
Sunday February 24,
2019
Tags #communication, #conversation, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #marriage, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: My wife is the smart one in the family. Everything I know about management I learned from her. Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: Whatever. Dilbert: Whatever? Are you mad at me? Boss: No, not at all. Everything is fine. Dilbert: If you have a problem with me, why don't you just tell me? Boss: It's nothing. Carol: She taught you well.
Wednesday February 13,
2019
Lower The Price
Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #prices, #negotiate
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss will yell at me if I don't negotiate a lower price. What can you do for me? Man: I lowered the price by ten percent before I showed it to you. Dilbert: I have no way of verifying your claim. Man: Neither does your boss. Problem solved.
Saturday January 19,
2019
Why Didn't You Do It Sooner
Tags #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #office workers, #problem
Transcript
Dilbert: I solved our server reliability problem. Boss: Why didn't you do it sooner? Dilbert: If you see my motivation anywhere, tell it I miss it.