Soul Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
84 Results for Soul
View 21 - 30 results for soul comic strips. Discover the best "Soul" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 26,
2015
Robot Gets An Artificial Soul
Tags awareness, consciousness, happiness, obliviousness, resentment, revenge, soul, technology, psychology
Transcript
Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!
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Tuesday November 24,
2015
Robot Is A Box Of Nothing
Tags death, death & dying, machine, robot, mortality, life, soul, consciousness, medical
Transcript
Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.
Monday November 23,
2015
What It Is Like To Be A Robot With No Soul
Tags consciousness, sentient, feelings, emotion, hurt, vulnerability, machine, robot
Transcript
Asok: What is it like to have no consciousness. Robot: What is it like to be totally unimportant. Asok: Ouch. Robot: How do you like your consciousness now?
Sunday February 22,
2015
Tags deadline, expectation, impossible, irrational, leadership, motivation, rationality
Transcript
Boss: How many days will it take to finish the tests? Dilbert: Three. Boss: You have two. Dilbert: I can't do it in two days. That's why I said three. Boss: That was before I used my leadership skills to tell you to do it in two days. Dilbert: Leadership doesn't change the laws of physics. The test takes three days. Boss: You have two. Leadership! These test results look incomplete. Dilbert: Just like my soul.
Thursday October 16,
2014
Tags insult, insulting, insults, obliviousness, robot, filling in, vacation, soul less creature, questionable intelligence
Transcript
Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!
Friday June 14,
2013
Tags apathy, exercise & fitness, beating the system, exercising, cubicle, soul crushing work, walker
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm beating the system by exercising in my cubicle. If I stay in good health during my forty years of soul-crushing work, I might enjoy a year or two of good health when I retire. Wally: This is why I don't have goals. Dilbert: I'm going to use my walker on your grave!
Sunday November 11,
2012
Tags meetings, work ethic, execution, innovation, full time job, excellence, inspired, died on inside, coffee and resentment, chemical formula for hatred, drilled employees
Transcript
Boss: Execution is a game of inches! You miss 100% of the shots you don't take! Innovation is everyone's full-time job! Be the dog, not the tail! Excellence is the only market that isn't crowded! Why don't any of you look inspired by my leadership? Wally: I died on the inside years ago. Now I'm just a fleshy container full of coffee and resentment. This guy was born without a soul. The she-devil at the end is the chemical formula for hatred. Catbert: Did you get through to them? Boss: I drilled until I hit bile.
Friday February 10,
2012
Tags happiness, marriage, interpretation, annoying, soul mate, perceptive, psychology, relationships
Transcript
Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.
Saturday December 10,
2011
Tags despair, office workers, self respect, prison, goals, slavery, self inflicted, angry, weak
Transcript
Wally: Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. Boss: Sorry I'm late. Wally: That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.
Thursday February 17,
2011
Tags office buildings, work ethic, new cubicles, death eater gray, soul sponge, absorb happiness, fear of the unknown
Transcript
Office relocation Tina says, "Your new cubicles will be a color called 'death eater gray.'" Tina says, "The fabric is a soul sponge that will absorb your happiness if you stand hear it." The Boss says, "How'd the meeting go?" Tina says, "Well, you know, fear of the unknown." Office Relocation

