Success Comic Strips - Page 3
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170 Results for Success
View 21 - 30 results for success comic strips. Discover the best "Success" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 17,
2019
Tags failure, inventions, office workers, power, science, success
Transcript
Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.
Saturday February 23,
2019
Hard Work Is The Key
Tags Advice, office, office workers, success, difficult
Transcript
Boss: The key to your personal success is hard work. Dilbert: Was it hard for you to learn that? Boss: No, it was easy. Dilbert: Do you mind if I get my advice from someone who worked it at harder?
Wednesday January 23,
2019
No Recognisiton
Tags addiction, office workers, social media, video games, expectations
Transcript
Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.
Sunday December 02,
2018
Tags business, decision, executives, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, success, manipulation
Transcript
CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?
Monday August 27,
2018
Wally Mentors To Death
Tags asok, Wally, successful, definition, minimum, alive, employed, comas, ruling
Transcript
Asok: Have you ever mentored anyone who went on to be successful? Wally: Depends on your definition of success. Asok: Well, at minimum, they'd need to be alive and gainfully employed. Wally: What's your ruling on comas?
Wednesday June 13,
2018
Hard Work Is The Key To Success
Tags Advice, manager, self-interest, motivation
Transcript
Asok: What is the key to success? Boss: Hard work! Asok: Is it a coincidence that your advice for me corresponds to your self-interest? Boss: My other advice is never question authority.
Tuesday June 12,
2018
Asking Successful People For Advice
Tags success, Advice, ambition
Transcript
Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?
Monday June 11,
2018
Wally Teaches Success
Saturday April 14,
2018
No Path To Success
Tags proof, guilt, exoneration, accusation, negative
Transcript
Dilbert: I emailed you proof that you were wrong when you accused me of deleting Alice's project files. Boss: Now I hate you for always needing to be right. Dilbert: I don't see a path to success here. Boss: Your negativity is like a cancer in the workplace.
Sunday March 25,
2018
Tags team, teamwork, collaboration, excuses, group project, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.


