Surpasses Last Remnets Comic Strips - Page 3

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353 Results for Surpasses Last Remnets

View 21 - 30 results for surpasses last remnets comic strips. Discover the best "Surpasses Last Remnets" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is Sexist

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Dilbert Is Sexist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, managers & supervisors, office workers, fire, crazy, gender, true, false, anger, face mask

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tina: i want you to fire dilbert because he said i might be nuts. he wouldn't say that to a man. boss: he said the same thing to me last week. tina yelling: it doesn't count if it's true!

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Bad Judge Of Character

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Bad Judge Of Character - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, bad, judge, character, hire, termite, clothes, disguise, youtube, makeup, video

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boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.

Wally Took Notes

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Wally Took Notes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, co-workers, forward, hungry, insults, intelligence, managers & supervisors, meeting, notes, pandemic, release, schedule, snack, technology, version, covid

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staff in conference room and all wearing face masks. dilbert: we agreed at our last meeting to postpone the version release. tina: no, we agreed to do it sooner. dilbert: i don't think so. who took notes at the last meeting? wally: i did. click wally: forwarding those notes to each of you. dilbert: um...your notes are mostly insults about the intelligence of your co-workers and...some sort of snack list. this is no help at all. wally: don't blame me. i'm not the one who schedules these meetings when i'm hungry.

Why Use Tests

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Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose

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Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

Tina Sues Boss

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Tina Sues Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, lawyer, sexist, jokes, not, Funny, illegal, unfunny, criminally, last, know

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tina: i've contacted my lawyer to sue you for your sexist jokes. your humor is not funny, and there's a good chance it is illegal. boss to catbert: i just learned that i am criminally not funny. catbert: you're always the last to know.

Before Or After Firing

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Before Or After Firing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, prototype, request, fire

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dilbert: we destroyed all of the prototypes you requested. boss: i never asked for anything remotely like that. dilbert: ted said you did. boss: did he tell you that before or after i fired him last week?

Violating Rules

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Violating Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, rules, business, audit, employees, company

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boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.

Brain Fog

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Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, business, health, meds, i.q., handsome, name

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dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?

Smarter Than An Engineer

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Smarter Than An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, health, allergy, brain, fog, i.q., smart, engineer

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dilbert: i took allergy meds last night, and now i have brain fog. my i.q. is about 50% of normal capacity. boss: whoo-hoo! i'm smarter than an engineer! dilbert: not quite. i'm only down by 50%.

Dilbert Murders Robots

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Dilbert Murders Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, robot, technology, human resources, bad behavior, reboot, murder, plot, erase

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dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.