Take A Stand Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

895 Results for Take A Stand

View 21 - 30 results for take a stand comic strips. Discover the best "Take A Stand" comics from Dilbert.com.

How Long It Will Take

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Long It Will Take  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #assignment, #deadline, #incompetence, #meeting, #co-workers, #months

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

Mindless Tasks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mindless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #despondent, #tasks, #mindless

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.

Feeling Loyal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Feeling Loyal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor, #visit, #healthy, #pill, #work, #money, #hard work

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: lately i've been feeling loyal to my company. and that makes me work extra hard for no extra money. do you have a pill to keep me from working so hard? doctor: they all do that if you take enough of them.

Software Specs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Software Specs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #software, #specifications, #business, #problem, #unclear

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how long will it take to write the software? dilbert: that depends. what do you want the software to do? boss: i don't know yet. dilbert: do you see the problem here? boss: is it you?

Elbonian Spy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Spy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #elbonian, #spy, #engineers, #economy, #intellectual, #property, #collaborate

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?

Attending A Funeral

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Attending A Funeral - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #time off, #funeral, #sick, #unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

carol talking to distracted boss on cell phone: can i take the day off to attend a funeral? boss: sure. i didn't even know you were sick. carol: it's not my own funeral. boss: oh. in that case, no.

Wally Compared To A Placebo

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Compared To A Placebo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #project, #failure, #coincidence, #placebo, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, i've noticed that every project you have worked on has failed. is that a coincidence? wally: it's hard to know. unless you compare me to a placebo. boss: okay, you're worse than a placebo. wally: i thought that would take longer.

Wally Has Skills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #robot, #design, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.

Slippery Slope

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Slippery Slope - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #slippery, #slope, #approval, #database, #cosmetic, #surgery, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body

Ron Moore

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #insults, #jokes, #mistake, #sales, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.