Team Building Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

300 Results for Team Building

View 21 - 30 results for team-building comic strips. Discover the best "Team Building" comics from Dilbert.com.

Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team

Thank you for voting.
Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2018's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2018's comic on:

Tags #berating, #yelling, #gaslight, #temper, #anger, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.

The Losing Team

Thank you for voting.
The Losing Team - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2018's comic on:

Tags #blockchain, #training, #improvement, #legacy, #education, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd like to work on our blockchain project to keep my skills updated. Boss: I need you to be a team player and maintain our legacy systems until your technical skills become obsolete. Dilbert: What kind of team is that? Boss: You'll be on the losing team.

Team Building Dance

Thank you for voting.
Team Building Dance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2018's comic on:

Tags #team-building, #dance, #rules, #restrictions, #Fun

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This year's team-building event will be a dance. No alcohol will be served. The event is for employees only, and you're not allowed to touch each other. Have a great time. Dilbert: How?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2018's comic on:

Tags #team, #teamwork, #collaboration, #excuses, #group project, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.

Dilbert Characters

Team Building Lunch

Thank you for voting.
Team Building Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2018's comic on:

Tags #lunch, #team, #teamwork, #team-building, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is everyone ready to go to lunch yet? I've been waiting for ninety minutes. Alice: We just got back. No one noticed you weren't with us. Dogbert: How was your team-building lunch? Dilbert: Suboptimal.

Unforseen Problems

Thank you for voting.
Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2018's comic on:

Tags #building apps, #completion date, #problems, #unforseen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2018's comic on:

Tags #flirting, #implementation, #new rules, #shoulder rub, #sock collar, #team spirit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Hey, Alice. Let me give you a shoulder rub in the name of team spirit. CEO: AAAAGH!!! Alice: click CEO: I hate having a court - ordered shock collar. The boss: I don't see a...oh.

The Problem Is Humans

Thank you for voting.
The Problem Is Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2017's comic on:

Tags #culture, #consultant, #human nature, #company culture, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2017's comic on:

Tags #team, #teamwork, #team building, #death, #cover-up, #denial, #human resources, #drowning, #rafting, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.