Their Own Jobs Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

487 Results for Their Own Jobs

View 21 - 30 results for their own jobs comic strips. Discover the best "Their Own Jobs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Starts A Podcast

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Starts A Podcast - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #podcast

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.

Offensive Product Name

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Offensive Product Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #insults, #office, #office workers, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i don't appreciate the sarcastic text message you sent me. dilbert: that wasn't sarcastic. tina: yes, it was. dilbert: wouldn't i be a better authority than you about my own intentions? tina: only if i could trust you. but i can't trust you. dilbert: give me one good reason why you shouldn't trust me. tina: because you send sarcastic text messages. dilbert: um... tina: and here comes the mansplaining.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #ceo, #research, #nonsense, #hurricans, #birds, #noted, #polar bears, #hate, #snow

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

Forming Your Own Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forming Your Own Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Opinion, #social media, #current events, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I used to form my own opinions about current events. Now I just copy whatever the people I follow on social media say. Dilbert: Where do they get their opinions from? Boss: From something called an algorithm.

Thankless Tasks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thankless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.

More Accurate Job Description

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
More Accurate Job Description - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.

Job Is 98 Percent Interruption

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Job Is 98 Percent Interruption  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #engineering, #frustrated, #jobs, #office workers, #listen

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: My job is 2% work and 98% getting interrupted. I can't focus long enough to finish anything. Dilbert: Are you done? I'm trying to work. Alice: You're a bad listener.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #office workers, #punishment, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Working With Old Ned

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Working With Old Ned - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elderly, #men and women, #office workers, #old

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?