Third Degree Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

84 Results for Third Degree

View 21 - 30 results for third-degree comic strips. Discover the best "Third Degree" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiations, #meeting, #capitalism, #disagreeing, #distrust, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "If we lease a machine from you, how can we be sure you'll stay in business to service it?" Man says, "How can we be sure you'll have enough money to pay the lease?" Dilbert says, "You could check our financials." Man says, "I'm pretty sure your financials are as fraudulant as ours." Dilbert says, "Good point. Maybe we could ask trusted third parties to vouch for us." Dilbert says, "Do you trust any third parties?" Man says, "Not since my financial advisor put my retirement savings in a ponzi scheme and had an affair with my wife." And thus ended capitalism Dilbert says, "Well, we tried." Man says, "Maybe I could grow food in my car."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #impossible task, #forbidden powers, #third arm, #lost intellectual curiosity

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok thinks, "My task is impossible unless I use my forbidden powers." Asok thinks, "Would anyone notice if I had a third arm for a few hours?" Wally says, "I lost my intellectual curiosity just in time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #masters degree, #business, #promoted to management, #less useful, #3 years, #night classes, #rock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'm thinking about getting a master's degree in business so I can get promoted to management." Dogbert says, "How long does it take to learn how to be less useful?" Dilbert says, "Three years of night classes." Dogbert says, "Hold still and I'll save you three years."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #useless, #mit degree, #engineering, #easier, #raise

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "I don't understand anything you do, so I assume it's all useless." Dilbert: "Maybe you could go to M.I.T. and get a degree in engineering so you would understand what I do." The boss: "Would that be easier than not giving you a raise?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career counselor, #flower arranging, #billionaire, #work hard, #defeat purpose, #no work, #doesn't want to work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, career counselor "What would you like to do with your degree in...flower arranging?" "I'd like to be a billionaire." "Are you willing to work hard?" "That would sort of defeat the purpose."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't like to judge people by their looks, but I'm going to make an exception for you." "Something tells me that you and I will be butting heads." "I have a degree in marketing." "Why aren't your lips moving?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

CHIPS "Hello Dogbert. I am here to persuade you to give your billions to third world countries." "If guilt does not work, I am prepared to wrestle you for it." "How's your decoy working out?" "He's got Bono in a headlock."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #360 degree reviews, #peer input, #negative review, #peer review, #next raise, #annoymous, #realization

View Transcript

Transcript

"It's almost time for our 360 degree reviews." "That means your compensation is partly dependent on the input of your peers." "I'd hate to see something bad happen to you, like, I don't know...maybe a negative review." "I've taken the liberty of calculating the value of a good peer review in terms of your next raise." "Pay me half of that amount, and I'll guarantee a positive outcome." "How would I know you gave me a good one? Peer reviews are anonymous." "What is it about me that makes people so distrusting?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I enrolled in a distance learning class to get my master's degree. "Uh-oh." "GAAA! GAAA! GAAA!" "Is the online degree hard?" "Not so much. I'm taking my midterm exam as we speak."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on work-life balance." "First, review this list of your priorities." Family Job Exercise Vacation Must-Dos Medical Eating Hygiene Sleep Romance Holidays "You have time for three things. Work and holidays are two. You get to pick the third."