Thousand Dead Camels Comic Strips - Page 3

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263 Results for Thousand Dead Camels

View 21 - 30 results for thousand dead camels comic strips. Discover the best "Thousand Dead Camels" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #scam, #death, #reincarnation, #con, #con artist, #ghost, #medical

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Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.

I Own You

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I Own You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #communication, #text, #control

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Boss: Why didn't you answer my text last night? Dilbert: Um... Boss: You have no social life, and you aren't dead, so there's no excuse. I own you! Dilbert: Whoever said honest is refreshing never heard any.

Checking The Time

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Checking The Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bored, #boredom, #dying, #dead

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Boss: Stop checking the time when I talk to you! Dilbert: I wasn't checking the time. I was checking my pulse to see if I'm dying from boredom. Uh-oh. Boss: I hope this is a coincidence.

Ted Is Not That Dumb

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Ted Is Not That Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #joke, #mean, #bully, #insult, #death, #idiot, #idiocy, #stupid, #dumb, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #medical

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Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.

The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura

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The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #horoscope, #Astrology, #prediction, #fortune, #nonsense

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Carol: Ooh. Bad news on your horoscope today. Your moon is intersecting with the feng shui of your aura. Boss: How long do I have? Carol: You'll be dead by noon. Boss: I meant until my next meeting.

Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues

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Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #future, #death, #prediction, #health, #reaction, #medical

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Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.

Robot Gets An Artificial Soul

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Robot Gets An Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #awareness, #consciousness, #happiness, #obliviousness, #resentment, #revenge, #soul, #technology, #psychology

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Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!

Godwin's Law Is One Jerk

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Godwin's Law Is One Jerk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #troll, #internet, #comment, #jerk, #hitler, #wwii, #nazi, #holocause, #joke, #social media, #etiquette, #netiquette, #technology

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Dick: People think there are millions of jerks on the Internet, but really it's just me. On a typical night I might make over seven thousand Hitler analogies. Dilbert: Maybe you should stop. Dick: That's what Poland said.

Wally's Stress Problem

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Wally's Stress Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #stress, #health, #work, #employee, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse

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Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.

Wally Drains Robot

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Wally Drains Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #murder, #killing, #power, #laziness, #work ethic, #weapon

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Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.