Topper Comic Strips - Page 3
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41 Results for Topper
View 21 - 30 results for topper comic strips. Discover the best "Topper" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 09,
2009
Tags #sitting, #complaining, #value, #recession, #ridiculous, #proud, #competing
Transcript
Topper Dilbert says, "The value of my home is down about 40%" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I paid a homeless Elbonian family a million dollars to take my house." Dilbert says, "A recession isn't a competition." Topper says, "Said the loser."
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Wednesday May 27,
2009
Tags #story, #topping, #bragging, #ridiculous, #lying, #annoyed
Transcript
Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."
Friday May 08,
2009
Tags #bragging, #birth, #doubtful, #editing, #wikipedia, #lying
Transcript
Topper Carol says, "My first baby weighed 12 pounds. I gave birth in the cap of a stolen backhoe." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I once passed a gallstone so big that it became secretary of labor in the Clinton administration." Carol says, "I find that hard to believe." Topper says, "Give me ten minutes and then check wikipedia."
Thursday May 07,
2009
Tags #bragging, #saving, #money, #talking, #ridiculous
Transcript
Topper Dilbert says, "I'm painting my own house to save money." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I had spider glands trasplanted into my body so I can make my own silk garments." Dilbert says, "That doesn't seem?" Topper says, "Who wants mittens?!"
Wednesday May 06,
2009
Tags #economy, #money, #investments, #topping, #comparing, #proud, #bragging
Transcript
Topper Dilbert says, "Gaaa! My stocks are down 70%!" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "Today I discovered that my house is insulated with cheese." Dilbert says, "Gouda?" Topper says, "Grated."
Saturday January 03,
2009
Tags #history, #lying, #pride, #selfishness, #worried, #recession, #frightening, #crimean war, #cold stench, #death, #use moisturizer, #old enough, #experience, #education, #medical
Transcript
Topper Asok says, "This recession frightens me." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "During the Crimean war, all I had to eat was the cold stench of death!" Asok says, "You don't seem old enough to?" Topper says, "I use moisturizer!"
Tuesday December 23,
2008
Tags #bragging, #rudeness, #selfishness, #stories, #goat cistume, #donated organs, #hollow torso, #backpack, #zipper, #family of squirrels
Transcript
Topper Returns Dilbert says, "I dreamed I was wearing a goat costume." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I donated all of my organs to sick people. Now I use my hollow torso like a backpack." "Dilbert says, "And I tried to go on a date." Topper says, "See my zipper? I took in a family of squirrels!"
Sunday January 06,
2008
Tags #co worker, #tired, #dead, #died, #afterlife, #zombie, #alive again, #pictures in heaven, #eyes closed
Transcript
Topper Dilbert: I didn't get much sleep last night. Ted: That's nothing. I haven't slept in a month. Dilbert: Wouldn't that kill you? Ted: It did, but that's nothing. I spent a week in the afterlife, then I returned to this world as a zombie. I taught myself homeopathy and discovered a cure for zombies. Now I'm alive again. Please be done...Please be done...Please be done... I took pictures of heaven. Alice: Gaaa!!!"