Totally Different Name Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

585 Results for Totally Different Name

View 21 - 30 results for totally different name comic strips. Discover the best "Totally Different Name" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #argument, #arguing, #accusation, #social media, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Why did you say we don't have a budget for our project? Dilbert: I never said that. Man: Then why did you say the project isn't feasible? Dilbert: I never said anything like that. Man: But you did say you thought it would take ten years to finish? Dilbert: I've never said anything like that. Man: Hahaha! You're in total meltdown mode now. Dilbert: I already forgot what we were talking about. Boss: How was your talk with Dilbert? Man: He's backpedaling after I totally owned him.

Asking Successful People For Advice

Thank you for voting.
Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

Idea Stealing

Thank you for voting.
Idea Stealing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #idea, #manager, #credit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What does everyone think of my idea? Dilbert: I suggested that same idea last week and you said it was terrible. Boss: Your idea was totally different because it involved you getting the credit.

Two People Named Tina

Thank you for voting.
Two People Named Tina  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #nickname, #name, #insult, #name-calling

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We have two people named Tina at this meeting. To avoid any confusion, I will be assigning them nicknames. Carol: Who did that to you? Boss: Big Tina.

Changing Company Name

Thank you for voting.
Changing Company Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #privacy, #facebook, #retaliation, #data, #breach

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our customers are complaining because we let hackers get their personal data. So we've decided to change the name of the company and wear disguises until it all blows over. Take a mustache from the bag and pass it around.

Arresting The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Arresting The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.

Kicking Brains Into The River

Thank you for voting.
Kicking Brains Into The River - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #photo, #evidence, #identity, #guilt, #proof

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: You're under arrest for running a scam cryogenic investment firm. We have video footage of you kicking unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: That doesn't look like me. Police Officer: You were chanting your own name.

Totally Painless Brain Removal

Thank you for voting.
Totally Painless Brain Removal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cryogenic, #science, #lab, #pain, #experiment

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Advice. Dogbert: We'll remove your brain and freeze it until your investments are worth a fortune. Man: Does it hurt? Dogbert: Totally painless. Man: Aaaagh! It hurts! Dogbert: Oh. I thought we were talking about me.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #training, #frustration, #wasting time

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?

Boss Checks On His Nickname

Thank you for voting.
Boss Checks On His Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #name-calling, #nickname, #abbreviation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally says people are calling me a "frickin' bottleneck" behind my back. Is that true? Carol: I have to call you back after I'm done with F.B. Boss: F.B.? Carol: Um... Facebook.