Tracking Satellite Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

34 Results for Tracking Satellite

View 21 - 30 results for tracking satellite comic strips. Discover the best "Tracking Satellite" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #study culture, #in company, #detailed recommendations, #docile outcast, #drinks brown water, #staple tracking device

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk wearing a hat, a backpack, and holding a stick. Dogbert says, "I will study the culture in your company and make detailed recommendations." Dogbert observes Wally and records, "The one I call Wally is a docile outcast who eats bananas and drinks brown water." Dogbert asks Wally, "Do you mind if I staple this tracking device to your ear?" Wally responds, "Not really."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internal clients, #tracking, #fake bills, #helpful

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "We're going to start tracking our time spent with internal clients." The Boss continues, "I will cleverly send fake bills to other departments to show how helpful we are." Wally replies, "I can't help you. I'm busy with my time sheet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attached tracking device, #compromise, #spy satellite, #radio network, #next weekend, #date tried to run, #nod once

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert takes his coat off at home. Dilbert says, to dogbert, "My date tried to run away, but I attached a tracking device to her coat." Dilbert holds a microphone and site by his computer. Dilbert says, "Now I'll just compromise a spy satellite and a radio network." Dilbert's date lies in bed at her house. Her radio says, "....So id next weekend is good, nod once."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #almost back, #date, #attach tracking device, #run down alley, #leaves, #different opinions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bill gates, #Dogbert, #incoming missles, #anti microsoft weapons, #press conference, #huge catapult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch next to Dilmom. Dilbert says, on the phone, "Dogbert, Mom told Bill Gates she uses the "Linux" operating system!" Dogbert stand at a large control panel which included a radar screen. Dogbert says, "I'm tracking four incoming missles. I'll launch our anti-miscrosoft weapons to intercept." Three reporters fly through the air towards a missle that has "MS" on its side. One of thre reporters says, "I wondered why a press conference was being held in a huge catapult."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goal to motivate, #build global satellite netwrok, #feel sdifferent, #Right, #energetic feeling, #pinned, #burning couch, #dizzy, #budget cuts

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "This is the goal that will motivate you for the next year." Dilbert reads from the piece of paper: "'Build a global satellite network. Budget: $12,000.'" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "Motivation feels much different from what I imagined." Dilbert continues, "I was expecting a light, energetic feeling." Dilbert continues speaking and illustrates with his hands, "But it's more like being pinned under a burning couch." Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Whoo, I'm getting dizzy." Dilbert stands up slowly and says, "I'd better lie down until the motivation wears off." The Boss leaves the room with Dilbert lying on the table. The Boss says, "He's going to be trouble during the next round of budget cuts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moms birthday, #wants nothing, #home entertainment theater, #50 inch screen, #surround sound, #satellite link, #toaster oven

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his mother stand in the kitchen. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for your birthday this year, Mom?" Dilbert's mother replies, "Oh, nothing. I have everything I need." Dilbert says, "Oh, c'mon. There must be something you want." His mother replies, "Well, one thing, but it's silly." They sit in chairs. Dilbert says, "You just name it." His mom replies, "Okay." Dilbert's mother says, "I'd like a home entertainment theatre with a fifty-inch screen, 'Thx' Surround Sound and a 600 KBPS satellite link to the Net so I can view adult pictures during the commercials." Dilbert replies, "I was thinking more along the lines of a new toaster oven." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, that's exciting. I'll put it next to my other one and watch them fight it out." Dilbert says, "There's a real dark side to the information age." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, and about the gift of life I gave you; you're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biggest problem, #databases, #dwell on negative, #network, #probelm, #tracking database

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I just got our consultant's report. He's identified our biggest problem." Wally says, "I recommend that we build a tracking database." Dilbert adds, "We can put it on the network." The Boss asks, "Would you like to hear what the problem is first?" Wally says, "I hate to dwell on the negative." Dilbert adds, "We like databases."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #45 inch screen, #communications staellite, #cure disease, #fish appear on screen, #great products, #marketing, #new product, #room freshener, #telepathic user, #whiten teeth, #time travel, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

How Great Products are designed The Boss: Go talk to marketing. Dilbert: Groan Dilbert: Dave, tell me what marketing wants the new product to do. Dave: It has to have a 45 inch screen and still fit in a purse or a wallet. Dave: It needs to act as a communications satellite as well as a room fresher. Dilbert: uh... Dave: it must cure deadly diseases and whoyten your teeth while you sleep! HAHA! and it has to be capable of time travel!! and have a telepathic user interface! Slap! Dilbert: I could write a program that makes fish appear on the computer screen, DAVE: yeah a lot of people want that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #emphasize positive, #french staellite, #trending downward, #upbeat, #war with france, #project staus

View Transcript

Transcript

dilberts letter: "Project status: We accidentally destroyed the French satellite and are now at war with France." Elbonian: "Maybe you should be a little more upbeat in your report. Emphasize the positive." letter: "...on a positive note, our headcount expenses are trending downward."