Trouble Finding Dates Comic Strips - Page 3
112 Results for Trouble Finding Dates
View 21 - 30 results for trouble finding dates comic strips. Discover the best "Trouble Finding Dates" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 21, 2014's comic on:
Boss: The key to career success is finding your special gift. Wally: My special gift is getting paid for doing nothing but babbling jargon. Boss: Maybe I should lead by example. Wally: Maybe you already did.
Share November 21, 2013's comic on:
Boss: How's your creativity coming along? Dilbert: I don't have any. Your management style makes me focus all of my energy on staying out of trouble. Boss: Your insubordination is unacceptable! Dilbert: And there it is.
Share September 12, 2012's comic on:
Coworker: I need to give you some push-back on these due dates. Dilbert: No problem. Should I tell the others you're lazy, or incompetent, or in over your head? Coworker: How about just "busy?" Dilbert: Okay. I will insist that people ignore the root cause.
Share August 05, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Wally, I'm sending you to a conference for the world's top engineers. With any luck, one of our competitors will try to poach you. That will save me the trouble of firing you. You'll be going with five other people I want to get rid of. I took the liberty of updating your resume. If this goes as planned, you'll destroy one of our competitors from within. Like a hideous disease. Make me proud! Wally: It was the first time I ever felt useful. I didn't like it.
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Tech Support: Hello, this is tech support. May I close your ticket now? Dilbert: Um... no. You haven't helped me yet. I just called you. Tech Support: I'm not evaluated on how helpful I am. I'm evaluated on how many trouble tickets I close. Your stubbornness is becoming an obstacle to my financial success. By the way, if our call gets disconnected, I count that as a closed ticket. Dilbert: I'll make it quick. Tech Support: What? What? I can't hear you. Dilbert: Son of a beach ball! On the plus side, my goal of hating one new stranger every day is right on track.
Share November 10, 2011's comic on:
Carol: He's busy converting everything you did this year into a complete waste of time. After that, he's scheduled to lower our morale. Then he'll be stirring up trouble in other departments. Dilbert: How's tomorrow look? Carol: He'll be under-communicating all day.
Share October 25, 2011's comic on:
CEO: We need a succession plan. I'm so awesome and charismatic that the company would be in trouble if I were to leave. Alice: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not as if you invented anything. We could replace you with a bag of moss. Dilbert: He got quiet. Alice: See? Moss can totally do that.
Share October 07, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Carol, how can I make you feel more inspired by your work?" Carol says, "I'm an admin, you steaming log. The only thing that would inspire me is finding your corpse floating in my worst enemy's drinking water." The Boss says, "It's just something they make me ask." Carol says, "Can I get back to my meaningless work now?"
Share June 01, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "After our first date, I pulled together some links to studies that debunk every belief you have." Dilbert says, "I alphabetized them. For example, here's Feng Shui, then homeopathy, then horoscope." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I always budget a little extra for second dates."