Unimportant Project Comic Strips - Page 3

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704 Results for Unimportant Project

View 21 - 30 results for unimportant project comic strips. Discover the best "Unimportant Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Omit Information

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Omit Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, illness, managers & supervisors, business, project, summary, mistakes, ethical, lie, violation, context, face mask

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boss: when you write the project summary, make it seem as if we didn't make any mistakes. tina: you want me to lie? that would be a massive ethical violation. boss: no, no. i only want you to omit important context. tina: why does my stomach hurt?

Applying Math To Guesses

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Applying Math To Guesses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, employment, business, analysis, discount rate, installation, maintenance, project, technology, math, guess, sarcasm, face mask

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boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.

Boss Not Returning Messages

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Boss Not Returning Messages  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, business, boss, fire, message, importance, sarcasm, employment, face mask

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asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!

Wally Must Say Something

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Wally Must Say Something   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, meeting, attention, confused, face mask, follow-up, questions, project, employee, engagement, business

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wally thinking: i need to say something to show i'm paying attention. wally: i'm concerned that the project could reduce employee engagement. boss: what does that even mean? wally thinking: i wasn't expecting follow-up questions.

Dilbert Can Answer Questons

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 Dilbert Can Answer Questons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answer, business, delegate, face mask, managers & supervisors, meeting, project, question, sarcasm, awkward

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boss: dilbert can answer any of your questions, but i have another meeting. dilbert: not really. i have no involvement in the project. he just told me to follow him to this room. co-worker: well, this is awkward. dilbert: how about i go to the restroom and never come back?

Input From Idiots

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Input From Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, technology, input, idiots, project, variety, dumb, informed, leadership

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dilbert: per your orders, i got input on my project from a variety of people who are dumber and less informed than i am. as you might imagine, the net effect was to make everything worse. boss: are you done? dilbert: i just want to thank you for all the leadership.

Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety

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Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, office workers, safety, sarcasm, team

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Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.

Emergency Project

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Emergency Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, boss, emergency, excuses, office workers, technology, work

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Dilbert: Do you have any emergencies for me to work on? Boss: I do. Dilbert: Perfect! I needed an excuse to avoid working on the boring parts of my job. Boss: I also need your status report by end of day. Dilbert: I would totally do that if not for this darned emergency.

Virus Hellscape

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Virus Hellscape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, diseases, office workers, virus, pandemic

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Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.

Rot From The Inside

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Rot From The Inside - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work, ethic, abysmal, loan, project, hate, rot, idea, raise

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boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?