Search Results for "unisex suit"
Share January 26, 2002's comic on:
At a meeting, M.T. says, "Hi, I'm M.T. Suit. I'm a man without substance." Alice looks at him nervously. M.T. continues, "I compensate by using buzzwords and attending meetings." M.T. continues, "We need to sell solutions, not products!" The Boss thinks, "I like his style."
Share January 25, 2002's comic on:
A headless, handless man says to Dilbert, "Hi. My name is Michael T. Suit. All my friends call me M.T." M.T. continues, "I enhance core competencies by leveraging platforms." Dilbert is gone. M.T. continues, "Did we shake yet? Sometimes I can't tell."
Share July 23, 2001's comic on:
The Boss sits at his desk with his hands crossed. He says, "Monty. You're not growing into your job as quickly as I hoped." Monty, a monkey in a suit, stands opposite from The Boss, looking grim. The Boss' voice continues, "So I signed you up for an accelerated evolution program. They pack a million years into a two-day class." Dogbert stands in front of a blackboard atop a stool and yells to Monty and the monkey behind him as they enter the classroom. He says authoritatively, "Hurry up! We've already lost the opposable thumbs module; let's not lose fire too."
Share February 23, 2001's comic on:
A little cloud hovers near Alice and says, "Hello, Alice. I'm your soul." Alice looks alarmed as a hand reaches for the cloud. The cloud says, "You're a manager now; You won't be needing me." A man in a devil suit holds the cloud, hands Alice a small piece of paper and says to her, "Here's a claim ticket in case you get demoted or learn to play sax."
Share January 21, 2001's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk in the window of a storefront. The sign outside says "Professional Liar." A man looks in the window. The man is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. Dogbert asks, "What kind of lie do you need?" The man says, "It's... It's embarrassing." Dogbert says, "Are you a producer who needs a good review for a lousy movie?" The man says, "No." Dogbert asks, "Are you an author who needs a slobbering quote for the cover of your lousy book?" The man says, "It's worse than that. Much worse." Dogbert says, "Worse? That could only be... aaack!" Dogbert exclaims, "Find someone else, you filthy dot-com founder! I have my limits!" The man is now sitting at a desk with a man in a suit. The man says, "... And since your firm underwrote our IPO..." The man in a suit says, "Would I get to be on TV?"
Share December 20, 2000's comic on:
Catbert says to Wally, "There will be no more Casual Dress Days." Catbert says to Wally, "We believe that employees work harder when they are wearing uncomfortable clothes." Dilbert is wearing a spacesuit. Wally, sitting in front of a computer and wearing a suit of armor, says to Dilbert, "I feel all motivated but I can't lift my arms."
Share March 05, 2000's comic on:
Caption reads: "Catbert, evil H.R. Director." Catbert is sitting behind a desk in a throne-like chair. He tells Dilbert, who is sitting in a very small chair: "We've decided to give you a new personality." Dilbert is surprised: "What! Why?" Catbert explains: "You're current personality is non-standard." He continues: "You must choose one of the approved corporate personalities." Catbert presents the options: "The choices are sycophant, glad-hander, sadist, quantoid, prima donna, empty suit, or whining misfit." Dilbert says: "Empty suit sounds interesting." Catbert says: "Excellent choice. Here's the Spec Sheet." Wally asks Dilbert about the meeting: "How did it go?" Dilbert answers, reading from the Spec Sheet: "Same ol' Same ol'. You got that right!"
Share November 27, 1998's comic on:
The moron in messy suit stands in Dilbert's cubicle. The moron says, "Then we need tp PV the DCF and get the ROI to the EOC ASAP." Dilbert says, "Are you our new CFO or a babbling idiot who just happened to wander by?" The moron says, "Which one pays more?" Dilbert thinks, "The mystery deepens."
Share October 20, 1998's comic on:
The Boss stands with his arm around a headless man. Alice sits at her computer. The Boss says, "Alice, meet the newest member of our team." The Boss says, "I hired him myself. That means I can never fire him; it would look like I made a bad decision." The Boss says, "Microsoft hired his head. It's in a jar in Redmond." Alice says, "And we got the part that goes to meetings."
Share September 08, 1998's comic on:
Ratbert sits on top of a dresser. A man in a suit stands holdinga basket full of dollar bills. The man says, "Come work for our consulting firm and you will get this bushel of money." The man says, "All we want in return is twenty hours of work each day..." The man says, "...With clients who hate you for a variety of good reasons." Ratbert says, "At least there's no travel right?"