Weapon Demo Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

32 Results for Weapon Demo

View 21 - 30 results for weapon demo comic strips. Discover the best "Weapon Demo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology demo, software, user interface, not working, gotta get some, any questions, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "The Technology Demo." Dilbert explains to the Boss and to Ted as they are reviewing the demo: "The software isn't 100% complete." Pointing at the monitor screen, Dilbert continues to explain: "If it had a user interface you would see something here...here...and sometimes here." He concludes: "And then you'd be saying, 'I gotta get me some of that.' Any questions?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demo of new prodcut, ceo, partner is channeling, angry energy, thousand dead souls, more like that

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss tells Dilbert and Paul Tergeist: "Put together a demo of our new product. Our CEO wants to see it." Dilbert says to the Boss: "My partner is channeling the angry energy of a thousand dead souls." The boss replies: "Why can't you be more like that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret weapon, lowered glass ceiling, marry a rich guy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Tina and says, "...so Tina, you shouldn't have..." Tina thinks to herself, "I'm in trouble. Must use secret weapon." Tina begins to cry and scream, "WAAH!! WAAH!! Everybody hates me no matter what I do!!" Alice leans over her cubicle and says, "Thanks, that lowered the glass ceiling about a foot." Tina replies, "I plan to marry a rich guy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, recipient, of stone of quality, motivational rock, says thanks, costs engraved, knocks out boss, police arrive, find rock

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at the computer. The Boss hands her a rock. The boss says, "Alice, you're the first recipient of the motivational "stone of quality"." The boss says, "It cost a thousand dollars to have it engraved. It's my way of saying "thanks"." The boss lies on the floor with a large bump on his head. Two cops lean over him. Alice peers around the corner. One of the cops, "There's no weapon, but I found this cool motivational rock."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags famous serial killers, database, name, weapon, tattoo, killer application

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern is making a presentation. He points to the display projected from his laptop computer and says, "My new product is a database of famous serial killers." Asok says, "You can search the database by name, weapon, or tattoo." Alice frowns. Alice turns to Wally and says, "Let me guess, Wally: Six months ago our young intern asked you what the term 'killer application' meant." The Boss looks on.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dazzling demo, dark angel demos, demo, sham, doomed, file server, worst is over

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the new VP, "We planned a dazzling demo for you, but as you can see we're being visited by the dark angel of demos." From inside the monitor Phil says, "The demo is a sham. Their project is doomed. Cut their funding before your name is associated with it." The Boss and the new VP look shocked. Dilbert thinks, "The worst is over." Phil continues, "Look at some of the pictures the 'boys' store on the file server."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new vp comig, demo, holographic inetrface, everything fine, product demos, loyal peon

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a table with a computer monitor on it. Wally is under the table pretending to be a 3-D interface. The Boss says to Dilbert nervously, "Our new VP is coming. Is the demo of our holographic interface ready?" Dilbert says, "Everything should be fine . . . Unless we're suddenly visited by the dark angel of product demos . . ." Phil appears inside the monitor next to Wally and says, "Hello-o-o, Wally. Did somebody say 'demo?'" Wally looks shocked. Dilbert says to the new VP, "I'm Dilbert; loyal peon."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cut corners, demo ready, under table, opretned, 3d interface, useless demos, little fuzzy, electric shaver

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to a table covered with a tablecloth. A computer monitor sits on the table. Dilbert says, "We had to cut some corners to get the demo ready this soon." Wally's head pops up into the monitor. Dilbert explains, "Wally is under the table. He'll pretend to be the 3-D interface that we could build if we weren't doing useless demos." The Boss says, "He's a little fuzzy. Can you adjust it?" Dilbert hands him an electric shaver and says, "Try the electric shaver."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demo, ne wpordcut, vp next week, delay, ship date, lower morale, create unending demand, unproductive demos, doing valuable work, quality, banner

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Could you do a demo of the new product for our VP next week?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . That would delay the ship date, lower morale and create an unending demand for more unproductive demos . . ." Dilbert continues, "Logically, since your objective is to show that we're doing valuable work . . ." The Boss interrupts, "And we'll need a banner that says 'Quality.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bob procurement, duties are simple, assume employees lie, multimedia laptop, demo labeler, low cost substitutes, savings, accomplishments

View Transcript

Transcript

His boss in procurement explains to Bob the Dinosaur, "Your duties are simple. People will come to you and ask for things." Bob's boss continues, "Assume all employees are lying, treasure-hunting thieves. Give them low-cost substitutes and claim the savings on your accomplishments." An employee says to Bob, "I asked for a multimedia laptop PC. This is a 'Dymo' labeler." Bob responds, "Nice try, Paul, if that's your real name."