Weird And Creepy Comic Strips - Page 3

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73 Results for Weird And Creepy

View 21 - 30 results for weird and creepy comic strips. Discover the best "Weird And Creepy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #coffee & tea, #inventions, #violence, #garbage disposal, #killed, #murder, #competetive

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Robot: Here is your coffee, as requested. Some guy tried to take the last cup, so I strangled him and put his remains down the garbage disposal. Wally: It's weird how that makes the coffee taste so much better.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ex ceo, #executives, #generous, #negotiated, #severance package, #wages, #robotic flea, #giant flea, #money

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Catbert: Our es-CEO negotiated an unusually generous severance package. We had to build a giant robotic flea to suck the assets out of the company. The weird part is that it seemed reasonable at the time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #employment studies, #good boss, #getting riase, #less dysfunctional, #creepy dude, #business

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Catbert: Studies say employees prefer having a good boss over getting a raise. So instead of giving raises, pretend to be less dysfunctional. It's cheaper. Bwahahahaha!!! Boss: You're a creepy little dude.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #best customers, #combo pack, #creepy bearded guys, #potato chips, #retail business, #tissues

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Dogbert: Research shows that your best customers are creepy bearded guys. That same group also buys a high volume of potato chips and tissues. Boss: How's that help us? Dogbert: Two words: Combo Pack.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #employees, #hatered, #run over, #clown, #ugly truth, #demise, #bad wishes, #business

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The Ugly Truth Visits Man: Your employees hate your carb-fattened guts. They hope you get run over by a clown car because it will make your demise extra funny. Boss: I hear mumbling but no on is there! Man: It's weird for me too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2012's comic on:


Tags #lunch date, #not attracted, #technoloigy, #only like tech, #people are creepy, #delivery system, #viruses, #germs, #picture, #photoshop, #people hater

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Tina: Wally, do you want to go to lunch? Wally: No, thanks. I"m a digisexual now. Tina: What: Wally: I'm no longer attracted to people. I only like technology. People creep me out. You're basically a delivery system for viruses, germs, and unreasonable favor requests. I'm willing to take a picture of you, but that's as far as I'll go. Tina: This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had. Wally: Thank goodness for Photoshop.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #being freightened, #creepy vibe, #leadership, #obsolete, #public speaking, #sense of urgency, #thread the needle, #tech platforms

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Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships

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Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #exit strategy, #serial talker, #infinite unrelated, #engineers

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Boss: Talk to Allen about this. Dilbert: I'll need an exit strategy. He's a serial talker. I'll be trapped for hours while he strings together infinite, unrelated stories. Boss: Engineers have weird problems. Dilbert: What could I eat that would make me puke in ten minutes?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #annoyance, #online class, #improve charisma, #stupid fake charisma, #weird

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Boss: Don't let anyone disturb me. I'll be taking an online class to improve my charisma. Carol: While you're doing that, I'll be taking an online class to learn how to ignore your stupid, fake charisma. BRING IT ON! Boss: Okay, this got weird.