Wrapped Around Body Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for wrapped around body comic strips. Discover the best "Wrapped Around Body" comics from Dilbert.com.

Self Driving Car Named Carl

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Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags automobile driving, cars, intelligence, sarcasm, technology, threat

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The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, insults, office, office workers, people, sarcasm, introvert, coworkers

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Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.

Soaring With The Eagles

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Soaring With The Eagles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, inspiration

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Boss: The inspirational poster I put in the break room isn't working. I asked around and no one is soaring with the eagles. Catbert: Is the poster defective? Boss: That's the only explanation that makes sense.

Keeping The Worthless People

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Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, managers & supervisors, salary, incompetence

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Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.

Sending Email At Night

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Sending Email At Night - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm

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Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

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Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.

Boss Leads All The Way

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Boss Leads All The Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, encouragement, irritation, managers & supervisors, trick, deadline

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Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.

Training By Osmosis

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Training By Osmosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, formal, training, job, absorb, osmosis, idiot, rest, staff

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The Boss: We don't have formal training for your job. Just hang around and see if you can absorb it through osmosis. Man: I'm an idiot for taking this job. The Boss: You're already thinking like the rest of the staff!

Introducing The New Hire

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Introducing The New Hire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, new hire, names, introduction

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The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?

Shred The Copies

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Shred The Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, Wally, copies, documents, coffee, shred

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The Boss: Company policy says we must shred all proprietary documents. But make copies first. Dilbert: Should we shred the copies too? The Boss: Do I have to do all the thinking around here?