2003 Comic Strips - Page 3

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insincere optimism, artificial sense of urgency, delusion, work for challenge, not money, good ideas, sound bad

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Dilbert: I'm developing an insincere optimism to complement my artificial sense of urgency. Dilbert: I hope to top it off with a delusion that I work for the challenge and not the money. The Boss: How can you make good ideas sound so bad? Dilbert: Im an engineer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags global economy, vibrant, fly bait, reformatted, disguise true objective

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Dilbert: "It's workers like me that make the global economy so vibrant." Carol: "The pointy-haired fly-bait wants this reformatted to disguise his true objective." Carol: "When you're done, don't show it anyone. No one cares." Dilbert: "Zesty!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags retired, do anything, all day long, banging head, earn money, social infrastructure, warm, tingly, sensation, guilty

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Dogbert: "It's nice to be retired. I'll do a-a-anything I want to do all day long." "I guess you'll be banging your head against a wall today, trying to earn money for the social infrastructure." Dilbert: "Do you ever feel guilty?" Dogbert: "Is it a warm, tingly sensation that makes you wag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trudge, work, earn money, lights on, shower is ready

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Dogbert: Wake up and trudge to work! Earn money so I can leave on the lights in every room. Dogbert: Your shower is ready, I turned it on last night.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intern, cheap boss, full size cubicle, half size, cubicle, treats poorly, no budget, garbage can, misunderstand

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Asok: "May I move to one of the empty cubicles?" The Boss: "Those are full-size cubicles; interns get half-size cubicles." Asok: "Yes... ordinarily, but there are hundreds of vacant cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss: "I'm not following you." Asok: "They're EMPTY! They will never be occupied. I want to use one." The Boss: "We don't have the budget to turn a full-size cubicle into a half-size cubicle just for you." "GAAA!!! That's not what I... never mind! Forget it!" "Furthermore, I do not believe this is a half-size cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, party, phone number, information, email, voicemail, home phone, offcie, work email, personal website, too much info, skeleton, relationships

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"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fist of death, foot of death, doctor, exam room, dont use, Advice, health, carpal syndrome, medical

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Doctor: You've got a bad case of carpal punchel syndrome. Doctor: Don't use your "fist of death" for a few weeks. Alice: GAAA!!! Wally: the "Foot of death" is not the same. Asok: It is only slightly menacing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accidentally eat, apple core, care values, customer service, respect, stem is loyalty, teamwork, apple product

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The Boss: "This apple will remind us of our CORE values: respect, customer service, and teamwork." Dilbert: "The apple's core is the part you throw away." The Boss: "Not always. Sometimes I accidentally eat it." Dilbert: "Maybe the stem can represent our loyalty to the company."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags break into subgroups, net meeting, usual time, loose canon, label, hackneyed phrases, cut now type

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wally: "I recommend that we break into subgroups to create a process for choosing our next meeting time." alice: "Or we could just meet next week at our usual time." wally: "You're a loose canon." Alice: "Stop labeling me with hackneyed phrases!" Wally: "You're a 'cut now, measure later' type."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags merging with evil compnay, downsize, how valuable

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"What?!! According to the paper, we're merging with an evil company that plans to downsize us." "Did they run my quote about how valuable you are?"