2005 Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
Sunday December 11,
2005
Tags billion dollar line, design, ecstatic, massive design flaws, press release, proper incenives, stock options, underwater
Transcript
"I told our CEO that the design would be done in a month. He's ecstatic!" "That would be good except that I told you it won't be done for six months." "Ooh." "So, I guess you'll have to tell him." "It's too late." "He's already issued a press release. You'll have to finish the design in a month." "The only way to do it in a month is to accept massive design flaws that will destroy a billion dollar line of business." "That's okay. My stock options are so underwater that it won't make any difference." "I'll just blame all of the problems on the Chinese company that manufactures our products." "Ultimately, it's the CEO's fault for failing to give me proper incentives."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday December 10,
2005
Tags sourpuss, wast of time, drum, half full
Transcript
Sourpuss "Whatever you're doing there looks like a complete waste of time." "If you beat your head against the wall, that doesn't make it a drum." "People say the glass is half full. But they don't say of what."
Friday December 09,
2005
Tags sourpuss, lemins, choke and die, lemon eater
Transcript
Sourpuss "When life gives you lemons..." "Choke on 'em and die." "You stupid lemon eater."
Thursday December 08,
2005
Wednesday December 07,
2005
Tags bed idea, new sourpuss, optimism, leadership 90 5 opitimism
Transcript
"Meet our new Sourpuss." "I heard that every office has one. And we didn't, so I went out and got one." "Does anything ever sound like a bad idea to you?" "Leadership is 90% optimism."
Tuesday December 06,
2005
Tags evil director, human rescources, disgruntled, bad management, commute, rationalizer, employee, commute is easy
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Ed, you seem disgruntled." "You need 30 minutes in the Employee Rationalizer." "I...I...don't mind bad management because...the commute is easy." "Better."
Monday December 05,
2005
Tags cross charging, freshly brewed coffee, tempting pasteries, time to project, meeting, wrong meeting, mis placed, business
Transcript
Um...Why are you here? "Originally I was seduced by the smell of your freshly brewed coffee and tempting pastries." "But now I'm all about cross-charging my time to your project."
Sunday December 04,
2005
Tags career criminal, appkying, job, tendonitis, pistol whipping arm, slower paced, lifel, embezzle, job security, business
Transcript
Your resume says you're a career criminal. "Yup." "Um...why are you applying for a job here?" "I'm getting tendonitis in my pistol-whipping arm." "I thought I'd try the slower paced life of white collar crime." "Security." "How much can I expect to embezzle in my first year?" "Earl?" "Lefty!" "Forget this job. Security is where the big money is." "Can you get me in?" "I should start locking my desk."
Saturday December 03,
2005
Tags hammerhead bob, expert, many topics, not welcome, converstaion, irritable, dadelion root, cramp root
Transcript
Hammerhead Bob "Hey, what are you talking about? I'm an expert on many topics." "Try to get this through your thick head: You are not welcome in our conversation." "Irritable, eh? Try cramp bark and dandelion root."
Friday December 02,
2005
Tags hammerhead bob, start butting into private lives, sense annoyance
Transcript
"Great. The only seat is next to Hammerhead Bob." "I'm learning ESP so I can start butting into people's private thoughts." "I sense annoyance, yet there seems to be no cause."

