Win Comic Strips - Page 3

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93 Results for Win

View 21 - 30 results for Win comic strips. Discover the best "Win" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #optimism, #patents, #patent infringement, #google, #apple, #microsoft, #oracle, #nasa, #astroid, #life span of optimist, #technology

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Lawyer: Our newest product infringes patents from Google, Apple, Microsoft, and Oracle. They've joined forces and hired NASA to nudge an asteroid toward our headquarters. Boss: I think we can win this. Lawyer: I wonder what the average life span of an optimist is.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carbon dioxide, #exhales endangered species, #fabrications, #harbard, #higgs boson particle, #licorice and flashlight, #national football league, #no bragging rights, #no kids, #training for olympics

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Coworker: My daughter is training for the Olympics. My son is going to Harvard. Dilbert: I have no spawn of my own, so I claim the right to name a proxy to brag on my behalf. Topper, I need you. Topper: OF course you do. My daughter discovered the Higgs boson particle using nothing but licorice and a flashlight. My son inhales carbon dioxide and exhales endangered species while playing in the National Football League. Coworker: This isn't fair! You can't just make up stuff! Topper: According to the president of the International Society of Boasters, fabrications are acceptable. Coworker: I'd like to talk to that guy. Topper: You're looking at him. Dilbert: I win.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #pet, #question, #animals

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Dilbert sits at the table reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Which would you prefer: winning a million bucks or getting hit in the lips with a dead mole while you sleep?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . The money." Dogbert says, "Well, that's too bad, because you didn't win a million bucks." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "That's the kind of hypothetical question that can keep you up all night."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #horses, #pun, #war

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The caption says, "Pun wars: how they start." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm feeling a little hoarse." Dogbert asks, "Horse?" The caption says, "Escalation is inevitable." Dogbert says, "Maybe you got a colt." Dilbert replies, "I need some cough stirrup." Dogbert asks, "Are you gelding a fever?" Dilbert replies, "It's mare-ly a sore throat." Dogbert says, "Hope you filly better." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." The caption says, "In the end, nobody wins." Dilbert says, "You're ugly!" Dogbert says, "I win."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #table tennis, #shot, #supernatural forces, #mental, #game

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Dilbert swings at a ping pong ball and misses as it bounces off the ping pong table. Dilbert says, "You win, again. I sure wish I knew how you make that shot." His opponent answers, "Supernatural forces." Dilbert asks, "Really? Supernatural?" Dogbert whispers, "The mental game is SO important."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #junk mail, #mail, #condo, #sales, #jeep cherokee, #emerald

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Dilbert reads a piece of mail and says, "Wow! And I thought this was just more junk mail!" Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "All I have to do is drive two hours and listen to their condo sales pitch. I'm GUARANTEED to win a Jeep Cherokee or a valuable mock emerald." Dogbert responds, "That emerald will go pretty well with your mock brain."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animal behavior, #giant, #moth, #fought, #modest, #bee, #jumpsuit, #wearing, #hypothetical, #situations

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Who would win if a giant moth fought a giant but modest bee in an all-wool jumpsuit?" Dilbert says, "Wait . . . Who's wearing the jumpsuit -- the giant moth or the giant bee?" Dogbert replies, "The bee." Dilbert asks, "Is this just hypothetical?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #comedy, #competition, #pairs, #chicken, #room, #stand-up

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert asks, "What makes you think you can win the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert replies, "It's just a matter of writing good jokes." Dilbert says, "Here's one - - 'Why do women go to the restroom in pairs?'" Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert says, "Because they're stapled to the chicken! Hee-hee!" Dogbert says, "It's been nice knowing you."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #skeptical, #hiring, #dog, #square-dance, #resume, #impressive, #Pulitzer

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Dogbert sits across from a man at a desk. The man, who is wearing a plaid shirt and a cowboy hat, says, "I was skeptical about hiring a dog as our new square-dance caller, but your resume is impressive." The man continues, "I didn't even know you could win a Pulitzer Prize for square-dance calling." The man continues, "Wow! And you're already in the Alberdeen Hall of Dung!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #engineering, #banana, #flea, #hotel, #zimbu, #management, #track, #victory

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The Boss: After comparing the two of you, I've decided to keep Dilbert for the last engineering job. Dilbert: Yes! I win, you little banana-eating-flea-hotel! Ha ha ha ha ha!!