Above Salary Midpoint Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for above salary midpoint comic strips. Discover the best "Above Salary Midpoint" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layer of management, #meeting disaster, #senior management, #warning the layer above, #dont mention problems

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Alice sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Don't mention any problems when you do your presentation to senior management, Alice." The Boss continues, "They might try to solve the problems during the meeting. That would be a disaster." Alice tells Dilbert, "As far as I can tell, every layer of management exists for the sole purpose of warning us about the layer above." Dilbert akss, "Are you saying they have a purpose?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dircetor, #lower base salary, #necktie, #Wally

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Catbert stands on a desk and says, "We've decided to lower your base salary, Wally." Catbert continues, "I realize this will be a hardship. But if you hand me your necktie I'll show you why this is being done." Dilbert asks Wally, "What did he say was the reason?" Wally replies, "'Because I can.'" Wally's tie has been shredded.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dierctor, #life insurance policy, #raise blood pressure, #dangerous levels, #fifty time salary, #ceo

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Catbert peers over a wall and says, "Wally, the company bought a life insurance policy on you." Catbert explains, "Our plan is to raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels." Catbert asks, "Did you know that our CEO makes fifty times your salary even though our stock is down?" Wally covers his ears and shouts, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #company emperor, #wheelbarrows, #salary, #downsized, #buzz saw dogbert, #parent company, #money

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Dogbert stands on a filing cabinet. He wears a crown and holds a scepter. The Boss bows before him. Dogbert says, "Tell the employees to get wheelbarrows to carry my salary out." Dogbert says, "Turn out the lights when you're done. You're all downsized. Shoo!" The Boss leaves in a daze. Caption: The Media Loved Him A mob of reporters surrounds Dogbert's filing cabinet. One reporter says, "Can we call you 'Buzz Saw Dogbert'?" Dogbert says, "I bought your parent company today. You're downsized. Shoo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #java coding, #raise salary, #spinning head, #10 years experience

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Catbert says to Wally, "I can't raise your salary level because you don't have ten years experience with 'Java' coding." Wally raises his hand and says, "Nobody has ten years experience with new technology! You're just being evil. Admit it." Catbert's head spins. Wally says, "And could you please shake your head back and forth instead of spinning it around?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #knows about wally, #phone call logs, #web hits, #emails, #urine test, #college grades, #salary, #Family, #business, #money

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Catbert sits on Wally's desk holding some papers and says, "The company knows everything about you, Wally." Catbert looks in Wally's file and says, "We have logs of all you phone calls, web hits, and e-mail. We have your urine test, college grades, salary and family contacts..." Catbert says, "It's against our policy to kill employees and replace them with low paid impersonators, but I wanted you to know it's feasible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #overdosing, #anti depressants, #induce vomiting, #mission statement, #ten times salary, #heaving, #alice punching

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Wally, Alice, and Dilbert are meeting. Wally says, "Alice is overdosing on antidepressants." Dilbert says, "We must induce vomiting." Wally holds a piece of paper in front of Alice's face. Wally says, "Look at our mission statement, Alice. The people who wrote it earn ten times your salary." Dilbert comes home disheveled. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The plan worked perfectly, up to the point where all three of us were having and Alice was punching us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #salay, #salary

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Dilbert tells the Boss, "I didn't work up to my full potential today." Dilbert continues, "Naturally, I'll be refunding a portion of my salary to the company." The Boss says, "Uh . . . We don't really have a process for that." Dilbert says, "What? That's almost like saying it's okay to work below my potential." Dilbert screams, "Hey guys! You were right! The pay's the same whether you try or not!" Wally says, "That's great! I didn't do squat today!" Ted adds, "I played 'Tetris.'" Dilbert tells the Boss, "Thanks for the clarification." Wally says, "It's a big time-saver." The Boss thinks, "Hey, I actually got paid for that!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #desired salary, #million dollars, #how much expected, #misleading, #salary, #fantasy layered, #little shoulder massge, #15 %, #money

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Dilbert wears a suit and holds a briefcase. He says, "Wish me luck, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "If you get more luck, wouldn't there be less luck available for me?" A woman at a desk looks at Dilbert's application and says, "For 'desired salary' you wrote 'one million dollars.'" Dilbert says, "Yes, thanks for asking." The woman says, "Perhaps the question is misleading. The application should have asked what salary you EXPECT." Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Well, I expect you'll hire somebody more qualified and my salary will remain unchanged." The woman says, "No, too honest. I'm looking for something CLOSE to reality, with maybe twenty-percent fantasy layered on top." Dilbert replies, "Okay . . . I'd like a fifteen-percent raise and a little shoulder massage." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Why does it seem that I'm the only honest guy on earth?" Dogbert replies, "Your type tends not to reproduce."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mister catbert, #total compensation plan, #salary alone, #danger, #balances out, #employee benefits, #lower blood pressure, #rubbing soft belly, #trick, #health benefit

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The Boss, Catbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Mister Catbert will explain our new 'total compensation plan' for excellence." Catbert says, "We no longer view compensation in the narrow terms of salary alone." Dilbert, Alice and Wally think, "Danger! Danger!" Catbert continues, "If employee benefits go up, then salaries can go down and it all balances out." Catbert lies on the table and says, "For example, did you know you could lower your blood pressure by rubbing my soft, furry belly?" Alice says, "It might be a trick!" Wally thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Wally rubs Catbert's stomach and Catbert shouts, "Ha ha ha!!! It's a health benefit! Now I'll cut everybody's salary!" Dilbert, Alice and Wally look shocked and their hair and clothing is disheveled. Dilbert says, "I've noticed that the more health benefits I get, the worse I feel."