Act Bored Comic Strips - Page 3

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118 Results for Act Bored

View 21 - 30 results for act bored comic strips. Discover the best "Act Bored" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2005's comic on:


Tags #dating pretty boys, #look best, #act best, #more bread!, #knows he can't do better

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"I'm tired of dating pretty boys where I need to look and act my best all the time." "I want a guy who knows he can't do better than me, no matter what I look like." "MORE BREAD!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #math, #project, #fail, #disaster, #embarrassed, #act dumb, #cancel, #buy, #question, #demonstrate, #hands up, #education, #business

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Dilbert says, "The math clearly shows that our project won't work, even if we do everything right." The Boss says, "It's embarrassing to cancel a project in the middle. Let's act dumb and hope someone in upper management cancels it for budget reasons." Dilbert says, "Should I stop buying stuff?" The Boss says, "You should buy twice as much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #open door policy, #office, #look over shoulder, #suspicious, #core systems, #key processes, #pointless question, #act randomly

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Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #email, #boss, #clear, #nonsense, #act randomly, #turn on and off

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Dilbert says, "I got your e-mail. It almost made sense." Dilbert says, "My plan is to act randomly and hope for the best." The Boss says, "Perhaps I can be more clear." Dilbert says, "Really? You can just turn it on and off like that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2006's comic on:


Tags #important sales call, #secret weapon, #ed from sales, #prices identical, #engineering staff, #competitor, #employs loser, #act surprised

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"I need you to accompany me on an important sales call." "Me?" "You're my secret weapon." "Well, okay." "What's your name?" "I'm Ed, from sales." "Only two companies make this type of product. The prices are identical." "The difference is that our engineering staff brings genius and innovation to everything it touches." "Whereas my competitor employs this loser." "Really? I wondered why you didn't look familiar." "Sold!" "You helped make a sale?" "Why does everyone act all surprised?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #script for meeting, #script, #twice a year, #act one, #scene two, #admiration, #leadership, #employment, #deliver line, #eyes moist, #sliced onion, #morale

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The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "Here's your script for the meeting." Dilbert asks, "Script?" The Boss explains, "My boss sees me only twice a year. I want everything to go smoothly." Dilbert looks at the script and says, "In act one, scene two, when I proclaim my admiration for your leadership..." Dilbert continues, "What's my motivation?" The Boss replies, "Employment." Dilbert says, "Good, good." The Boss adds, "And it would help if your eyes were moist when you deliver the line." Dilbert points to his pocket and says, "I'll put a sliced onion in my shirt pocket." The Boss, The Boss' boss, and Dilbert are meeting. The Boss' boss says to Dilbert, "Hello, underling, how is your morale?" Dilbert is sobbing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #act ineterested, #air gap, #boring, #doing at work, #hurt when i hurt, #mother, #no empathy for son, #no pain, #dilberts mother, #Family

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Dilbert asks, "Do you want to hear what I'm doing at work?" Dilbert's mom is holding a plant. She replies, "Not so much." Dilbert says, "You're supposed to act interested because you're my mother." His mom replies, "Well..." Her voice continues, "I'm not saying you're boring, it's just that everything you talk about is boring." Dilbert says, "That's the same as saying I'm boring." Dilbert's mom is watering a plant. She responds, "Only when you talk." Dilbert asks, "But you care about me, right? When I hurt, you hurt?" Dilbert's mom has put down her plant. She says, "Actually, the electrical impulses in your brain don't fly across the air gap to my brain." She continues, "You could be writhing in agony and I wouldn't feel a thing." Dilbert looks down and says, "Ouch." Dilbert's picks up her plant again and says, "air gap."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #television news, #act like idiots, #mirror, #details in mirror

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Dogbert: In today's news, people all over the world continued to act like idiots. Most of the time it didn't turn out well. For details, look in your mirror.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #obliviousness, #act like start up, #ask for funding, #hacker

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CEO: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean we can ask for funding for one thing and then pivot six times and build something entirely different? CEO: Is there a version where we don't do any of that and I can still call myself a hacker?

Dilbert Acts Like An Animal

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Dilbert Acts Like An Animal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #off the grid, #bored, #boredom, #distraction, #Entertainment, #animals, #nature, #stimulation

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Dilbert Goes Off The Grid. Dilbert: The boredom is giving me the shakes. Animals are never bored. I'll just do what animals do. Well, possum doesn't work