All Changed Comic Strips - Page 3
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46 Results for All Changed
View 21 - 30 results for all changed comic strips. Discover the best "All Changed" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 05,
2001
Tags #more useful, #bizarre absolute, #feature
Transcript
Dilbert says to a coworker, "We should add this feature to our product to make it more useful." The coworker responds, "Are you telling me that not ONE person on Earth will use our product without that feature?!!? Dilbert says, "You changed what I said into a bizarre absolute." The coworker exclaims, "Oh, I change everything you say?!"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday November 08,
2001
Tags #wally.yoga classes, #yoga or yoda, #suspicious
Transcript
Alice says to Dilbert, "Wally looks different." Alice continues, "He changed when he started yoga classes." Wally has transformed into Yoda from Star Wars. Dilbert says, "All I'm saying is that it might not be a "yoga" class." Wally/Yoda responds, "Suspicious you are."
Saturday December 29,
2001
Tags #hard work, #nights, #weekends, #demand 10 percent
Transcript
Alice is sitting at her computer. She looks thoroughly disheveled. The Boss says to her, "Alice, all of your hard work - the nights and the weekends - are finally paying off." The Boss continues, "We increased our five-year forecast of demand by ten percent!" Alice responds, "You changed a wild guess by ten percent?" The Boss replies, "Thanks to you!"
Monday June 27,
2005
Tags #ceo, #limo, #miss pennington, #harold, #rat bert, #surgery, #medical
Transcript
Ratbert the CEO "Miss Pennington, have my driver fetch the limo." "My name isn't Miss Pennington. It's Harold." "And?" "Um...and...I'll have it legally changed to Miss Pennington so you won't be wrong." "Plus the surgery."
Wednesday November 09,
2005
Tags #working 80 hours, #per wekk, #ground breaking, #starategies, #my underlings
Transcript
I'm working 80 hours per week and you hire someone to do your work??? "Leave him alone so he can think up groundbreaking strategies." "Such as?" "I changed your job title to 'My Underling's Underling.'"
Sunday April 07,
2013
Tags #accusations, #anxiety, #continuous barrage, #firewall, #inevitable villager, #pessimism, #villagers with torches
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, I want you to install the new firewall. Dilbert: Noooo!!!! Why me? Why me? The firewall guy gets blamed for every problem. People will say "Everything worked until you changed the firewall." There will be no rest for me. I will have to defend myself against a continuous barrage of accusations. It's always the firewall! Everyone blames the stinkin' firewall! I surrender to the inevitable! Villagers, grab your pitchforks and torches! Boss: How did he get that way? Wally: I blame the firewall.
Monday April 05,
2010
Tags #proofread, #technical document, #acronyms, #change, #lemon flutes, #hard flea, #nonsense
Transcript
Tina says, "I proofread your technical document despite not understanding a word of it." Tina says, "I couldn't tell the acronyms from the typos, so I changed them all to whatever felt right." The Boss says, "You say we should migrate our lemon flutes to a hard flea?" Dilbert says, "Not all at once."
Friday December 03,
2010
Tags #work, #depressed, #cubicle, #take off jacket, #sit at computer, #powerpoint slides, #happy, #devil, #giant spoon, #prince of insufficient light
Transcript
Dilbert says, "What fantasy will I use today to stave off madness?" Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll be 'the man who changed an industry with his powerpoint slides.'" Phil says, "I have a report of unauthorized happiness inside of a head."
Friday April 24,
2009
Tags #telephone, #concern, #death, #mistake, #product, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My boss just told me that he changed my drawings for the smart phone before he sent them to you for prototyping." Dilbert says, "I was wondering if you're having any problems with it?" Man says, "The camera's a bit aggressive."
Tuesday December 08,
2009
Tags #technology, #changing, #competition, #submitting, #management, #delays
Transcript
The Boss says, "After eight months, senior management finally approved your project plan." Dilbert says, "It's too late. All of the technology has changed and our competitors have leapfrogged us." The Boss says, "Maybe you could write a new plan." Dilbert says, "Or we could get the same result by resubmitting this one."