All Day Meeting Comic Strips - Page 3
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1000 Results for All Day Meeting
View 21 - 30 results for all day meeting comic strips. Discover the best "All Day Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 01,
2009
Tags #meeting, #elbonia, #angry, #threatening, #kung fu, #frustration, #stuck, #business
Transcript
Industry Standards Meeting in Elbonia Dilbert says, "Let's adopt my company's specs as the industry standard." Man says, "Your specifications are weak, and so is your kung fu." From that day on, all standards meetings were held in the mud of Elbonia. Man says, "Can't...Kick! Stupid...mud!"
Sunday November 28,
2010
Tags #meeting, #pep talk, #ceo, #angry, #silent, #worry, #front, #motivation, #dumb, #hate, #bosses, #business
Transcript
The CEO pep talk CEO says, "I want to know I can count on every one of you!" CEO says, "What's wrong with these people?" Dilbert says, "Well? I fired that guy this morning. His last day is tomorrow." Boss says, "That one retires at the end of the month." The Boss says, "Those three are contractors. I didn't renew their contracts." The Boss says, "The rest of them believe that motivation is how the powerful steal from the dumb." CEO says, "Tell them I hate their guts." The Boss says, "I did that in the pre-meeting."
Sunday December 09,
2001
Tags #teamwork football, #carry one day, #commitment to teamwork, #customers, #vacation, #used golf ball, #football, #Sports
Transcript
The Boss holds up a football and says, "I call it teamwork football." The Boss continues, "Each of you will carry the ball with you for one day to symbolize your commitment to teamwork." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice listen as The Boss' voice continues, "Who wants to be first?" The Boss turns to Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Not me, I have a meeting with customers today." The Boss turns to Wally. Wally says, "I'm on vacation. I only came in for coffee." The Boss turns to Alice. Alice says, "Not in a trillion years." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe you could keep it in your desk drawer to symbolize our commitment to teamwork." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He looks at the football sticking out of his desk drawer and thinks, "I should have used a golf ball."
Saturday June 20,
2015
Four Hour Meeting
Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business
Transcript
Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.
Saturday October 29,
2016
Dilbert In Wrong Meeting
Tags #awkward, #meeting, #embarrassed, #embarrassment, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I just realized I'm in the wrong meeting. My best bet is to slowly sink below the table and slip away. Someday, when my grandkids ask what I did for a living, I'm going to say I was unemployed.
Friday March 31,
2017
Attend A Meeting In My Place
Tags #meeting, #frivolous, #stand-in, #time management, #business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.
Thursday March 01,
2018
Optimal Meeting Density
Tags #laziness, #excuses, #excuse, #meeting, #meetings, #powerpoint, #business
Transcript
Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.
Tuesday January 01,
2019
New Year's Day
Tags #holidays, #new year's day, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?
Monday May 13,
2019
Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting
Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat
Transcript
the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...
Tuesday June 25,
2019
Encouraging Smoking
Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #smoking, #turnover, #breaks
Transcript
dibert, the boss and ask at conference table. the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking. the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day. dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks. the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.