Answering Scam Comic Strips - Page 3

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45 Results for Answering Scam

View 21 - 30 results for answering scam comic strips. Discover the best "Answering Scam" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #embassy, #nutty, #radical, #cars, #laws, #automatic, #direction, #politicians, #trust, #question, #insulted

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Dogbert sits across from a man in a strange robe and hat. The man asks, "Why have you come to the embassy of the nutty radical country of Pingo-Pongo?" Dogbert replies, "I want a job as a diplomat." The man asks, "Why?" Dogbert replies, "I'm trying to get in on the 'diplomatic immunity' scam." Dogbert throws his head back and cries, "I want to drive cars over people's lawns . . . I want to fire automatic weapons in any direction!!!" Dogbert laughs wickedly and shouts, "I want to throw Jello at politicians!" The man asks, "How do we know we could trust you?" Dogbert replies, "Sir! I am insulted by your question!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #loans, #funding, #scam artist, #dogbert on tv, #people believe

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Dilbert is at home watching television. Dogbert's infomercial is on tv. Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "Would you like to make $1,000 per month for a whole year?" Dogbert says, "Send $13,000 for complete information about Dogbert no-load funds." An individual is furiously writing the information down as Dobert says, "I'll include my free pamphlet explaining how to lose weight by eating less food." The guy thinks, "Show the number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #answering, #asking questions, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #hiring, #interrupted at work, #interview, #make stronger, #work

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert interviews a man. Catbert says, "Are you able to work while being constantly interrupted?" The man says, "No. I would be totally ineffective, just like anyone else." Catbert says, "We were done with the section you had to answer honestly." The man says, "Oh. In that case, interruptions make me stronger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #investment baker, #hired wesel, #media questions, #stock holders, #good for stcokholders, #parking lot

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Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert introduces a weasel to The Boss, "I hired a weasel to teach you how to answer media questions." The weasel says, "No matter what the reporters ask, always give the same answer 'It will be good for stockholders.'" The Boss is answering media questions. A reporter asks, "Is it true that you ran over a stockholder in the parking lot?" The Boss responds, "It'll be good for him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #worlds greatest intern, #plagues, #bought plague, #less prominent placement, #alice called it

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ASOK: "Alice, you are looking at the newest member of "the world's greatest interns." Alice: "That's a scam to convince gullible interns to buy overpriced wall plaques." Asok: "I'll be displaying you less prominently than we had discussed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #court ordered, #email records, #deleted, #system mainentance, #wink wink, #flirting, #in on it, #scam

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Company Lawyer "The court ordered us to turn over all of our e-mail records." "Gosh, I sure hope they don't get deleted during regularly scheduled system maintenance." "Oh no. That would be bad! Wink! Wink!" "Good grief, man! How can you be flirting at a time like this?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #3d printer, #answer questions, #modeling (sculpture), #pointy haired boss

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Carol: Your pointy-haired boss wants to know if you tested the new 3-D printer yet. Why aren't you answering my question? Whatever. Wally: Success.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2013's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #questioning, #navigation button, #top of page, #idea people, #difficult, #people not answering

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Dilbert: Would it be better with the navigation button at the top of the page? Coworker: I can make that change. Dilbert: I know you can make the change. I'm asking if you agree it would be a good idea. Coworker: It's no problem to move buttons. Dilbert: But is it a good idea? Coworker: I can have it done in ten minutes. Dilbert: But should we do it at all? Coworker: Whatever you want. Dilbert: That is not an answer! Forget it! I'm going to tell your boss you're difficult to work with. Asok: When will you move the button. Coworker: As soon as it's my idea.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #server, #project, #virtualization, #rates, #online, #trouble ticket, #scam, #inside job

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Dogbert: The server virtualization project is done, and there are no trouble tickets. My rates might seem steep, but remember, there are no trouble tickets. Dilbert: Our online trouble ticket system is broken."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #avoid ansering, #emails, #unhelpful moron, #poorly designed robot, #terminate ecompnay, #robot

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Alice says, "I've noticed that whenever I ask you a specific question by email, you avoid answering it." Alice says, "You're either an unhelpful moron or a poorly designed robot sent from the future to terminate our company." Dilbert says, "How did you know it was a robot?" Alice says, "I didn't."