Anyone Will Notice Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for anyone will notice comic strips. Discover the best "Anyone Will Notice" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ridiculous, #Dilbert, #supercomputer, #create, #model, #predict, #life, #brain, #chemistry, #patterns, #cause and effect, #free will, #mad, #implies

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Dilbert sits at a desk and works on his supercomputer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm using my new supercomputer to create a model that can predict your entire life." Dilbert continues, "You see, everything, including your brain chemistry, is subject to predictable patterns of cause and effect . . ." Dogbert replies, "That's ridiculous. It implies that we have no free will." Dilbert looks at the monitor and says, "Next, you start getting really mad at me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #flowers, #woman, #non-refundable, #date, #deposit, #diskette, #dating, #history, #personal, #references, #financial, #disclosure, #rejection, #notice, #verbal

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Dilbert hands a woman flowers and says, "Here are the flowers and the non-refundable date deposit." Dilbert hands the woman a diskette and says, "This diskette has my dating history, personal references and full financial disclosure." Dilbert asks, "When may I expect the rejection notice?" The woman replies, "I can give you a verbal now . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #notice, #wearing, #contacts, #emergency, #backup, #system

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Do you notice anything different?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing contact lenses." Dogbert asks, "Then why are you still wearing glasses?" Dilbert replies, "They're my emergency backup system." Dogbert says, "Your pants are on backwards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #leaving compnay, #opportunites, #key pharses, #we regret, #years of service, #footnote

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The Boss: "Tim will be leaving the company to pursue other opportunities." "Note the absence of key phrases such as 'we regret' or 'years of dedicated service.' And notice that his new opportunity is not called 'exciting'." Dilbert: "I think you're reading a little too much into that announcement." The Boss: "No, I'm reading the footnote."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #world will end, #year 2000, #compelling logic, #news

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Dogbert: I've become a doomsday prophet so I can scare gullible people. Im telling everyone the world will end in year 2000. My compelling logic is that 2000 is a big round number. Dogbert: Its BIIIG and ROOUND Dilbert: Stop it!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #diversity training, #respect differences, #four groups, #insults group, #dog, #teaching, #workers, #animals, #education

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Dilbert: In 'diversity sensitivity' training you will learn to respect those who are different. DOgbert: People basically fall into these four groups. ugly smart cute smart ugly stupid cute stupid Dilbert: This is different than I expected. Dogbert: I notice that all of you are in this box here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #same meail, #last week, #best of wally, #cube sabbaticle, #first notice

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Dilbert peers over the cubicle wall and says, "Wally, you just sent me the same e-mail you sent last week." Wally says, "I'm rerunning the 'Best of Wally' while I'm on in-cube sabbatical." Dilbert asks, "How long is your sabbatical?" Wally replies, "Six months so far, and you're the first to notice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #own company, #Dogbert, #trim middle management, #fire anyone, #fyi on documents, #fyi files in barrel

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Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Dogbert who is sitting at a desk. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own the company, what do you plan to do?" Dogbert answers, "Trim middle management." Dogbert continues, "I'll fire anybody who gives me a document marked 'FYI.' Those people have too much time on their hands." A manager carrying a wheelbarrow full of documents marked "FYI" asks Dilbert and Wally, "Are you sure this will set me apart from the other managers?" Wally replies, "You'll be surprised how quickly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #prison talk, #not prisoner, #own free will, #freak section

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A man with a shaved head peers over the wall into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Hey, buddy, what are you in for?" Dilbert answers angrily, "Unlike yourself, I am not a prisoner here. I CHOOSE to work here of my own free will!" Dilbert says, I LIKE to work." The prisoner says, "Great . . . I'm in the freak section."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #guy in marketing, #alter dna, #structure, #animal, #weasel, #notice change, #marketing guys, #helix, #one helix

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Dilbert and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "I told a guy in marketing that I programmed his computer to alter his DNA structure." Wally laughs, "Hee Hee." Dilbert continues, "He thinks he'll turn into some kind of animal." Wally suggests, "Tell him you set it to 'weasel.' It'll take longer to notice any change." The guy in marketing says to Alice, "Tell me the truth, Alice, can Dilbert reprogram my DNA?" Alice responds, "Yeah. You marketing guys only have one helix."