Awful Thing Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

513 Results for Awful Thing

View 21 - 30 results for awful thing comic strips. Discover the best "Awful Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idiotic promise, #brain, #amazing thing, #untapped power, #solution, #enjoy walk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, ". . . So the salesperson made an idiotic promise to our customer. Now it's MY job to fix it." Dogbert says, "The brain is an amazing thing." Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that if I use the untapped power of my brain, there's a solution?" Dogbert replies, "No, I'm saying my amazing brain filtered out your boring story so I could enjoy my walk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new fog, #rolling in, #mean one thing, #time to reorganize

View Transcript

Transcript

A cloud moves towards Alice and she says, "A new fog is rolling in." Dilbert sits at his computer, his head obscured by fog. "This can mean only one thing." The Boss walks up to Carol, fog pouring from his ears and says, "Carol, schedule a staff meeting. It's time to reorganize the department."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vision thing, #boss, #visions, #donuts, #coffee, #big house, #servents, #over rated, #gardener, #everyone laid off

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "As your leader it's my job to provide a vision." "But frankly, I'm not seeing anything." Wally: "Have another donut. Sometimes the sugar helps." The Boss: "It's working. I'm getting something, but it's fuzzy." Alice: "Quick! Try my coffee!" The boss: "Mmph!" "Oh yeah, there it is. Oh-oh-oh." "It looks like I'll be living in a big house with servants. And you'll all get laid off." Dilbert: "This vision thing is overrated." Wally: "So; do you have a gardener lined up yet?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #successful project, #job eliminated, #smartest thing, #fail miserably, #clear strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman (Tina ?) stands in the boss's office. She says, "I just realized that if my project is a success, my job will be eliminated." She says, "The smartest thing to do is to fail miserably and blame it all on your indecisiveness." She says, "I'm happy because I have a clear strategy!" The boss thinks, "I haven't nodded in a while."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ad agency, #wise to insult, #monirotity groups, #commercial, #worst thing, #spit on flag, #difficult client list

View Transcript

Transcript

THE AD AGENCY: The Boss asks Pete Peters of the Creative Team, "Is it wise to insult all of these minority groups in our commercial?" Pete says to The Boss, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" The Boss asks, "Does our company have to spit on a flag?" Pete says, "That's it; you're on my 'difficult client' list now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #complain, #all night, #called a loser, #personality, #one thing, #complaint, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert returns home from his date and says to Dogbert, "My date complained about her life all night long!" Dilbert continues, "But I complain about just ONE thing and she calls ME a loser." Dogbert asks, "Did you complain about her personality?" Dilbert replies, "That's ONE thing!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illegal to clone humans, #frame clone, #for crime, #same thing to me, #immoral

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "Yes, the technology to clone you exists, but it's illegal to clone humans." The Boss responds, "If the cops find out, we can frame my clone for the crime." Dilbert replies, "That is so wrong." The Boss responds, "Why? He'd do the same thing to me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eat lunch, #few typos, #launch prodcut, #new prodcut, #other thing, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is sleeping on his keyboard. His computer makes noises, "Click Click Send." Headline: Marketing. An employee in the marketing department says to his coworker, "Someone named Wally is telling us to launch the new product." The employee continues, "Or it might say to eat lunch with a penguin. It has a few typos." The coworker replies, "I already ate, so let's do the other thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ask them, #feeling embarrassed, #money, #negotiating with vendors, #phd, #right thing, #thinking of idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I have a PHD, so obviously you should do what I say. Instead of negotiating with vendors, lets just tell them how much money we have and ask them yo do the right thing. You're probably feeling embarrassed for not thinking of the idea yourself. Alice: Must...not...shave...PHD.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet traffic, #good thing, #under sewage, #breathe through straw, #grateful, #sewer system

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"