Babbling Idiot Comic Strips - Page 3

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133 Results for Babbling Idiot

View 21 - 30 results for babbling idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Babbling Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #measurable objective, #technical writer, #measure good writing, #number of words, #compare projects to wood, #dogmatic babbling manager, #cognitive surrender

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The Boss sits at his desk. He says, "Tina, we need to set measurable objectives for you." Tina responds, "I'm a technical writer. How can you measure good writing?" The Boss says, "Everything is measurable is you try hard enough." Tina asks, "Is that your well-measured opinion?" She continues, "Or is it the dogmatic babbling of a manager in total cognitive surrender?" The Boss comes back with, "For example, we could measure the number of words you type." He adds, "We'll have to subtract words you delete. That way we won't motivate the wrong behavior." Tina is now at her desk, typing. She has written, "In this edition of Tina's hourly newsletter, I compare our projects to various types of wood."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #engineering liason, #project staus, #translate for clients, #never completed, #idiot clients, #change requirements

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The Engineering Liason says to Dilbert, "Tell me your project status and I'll translate for our clients." Dilbert says, "The project will never be completed because our idiot clients change the requirements every other day." The Engineering Liason responds, "I'll just say you're drunk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #server named pointy, #over loaded, #moving, #haired and idiot, #cluless, #purchase order

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Dilbert says to the Boss pointing to the diagraphn he's drawn on the board, "Our server named 'Pointy' is overloaded." Dilbert continues, "So we're moving some of the load to 'haired' and 'idiot'. But we still need a new server. Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "He signed the purchase order for 'clueless."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #boss, #errors, #flatter yourself, #forward to friends, #idiot boss, #spelling, #mass email

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The Boss types, "Trie to be moor prophesional in your commudicashuns." Dilbert and Wally read the email. Dilbert giggles at his computer, "Hee Hee!" Wally says, "Let's forward it to all our friends so they can see what an idiot we work for." Dilbert says, "But you're my only friend." Wally replies, "Don't flatter yourself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #guest cartoonist, #rob the dinosuar, #bob, #million degrees, #costume, #you idiot, #no pay, #every has cotsume

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Whos todays Guest Cartoonist? Hi rob the dinosaur here! Today I want to.... cut! Your name is Bob! Sir, Its like a million degrees in here, Cant we take a two minute break? No! You'll do it until you get it right. you idiot! you have dissected me. no pay for you! I hate dilbert, SSH! HE'll hear you! Answer: Go to Dilbert.com

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #return frisbee, #doesn't fly, #software cd, #total idiot, #users manual, #poorly written

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"I'd like to return this Frisbee (TM). It doesn't fly right." "This is a software CD. Only a total idiot would think it was a Frisbee (TM)." "In my defense, the user's manual was poorly written." "Plus you're a total idiot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2006's comic on:


Tags #less prodcutive, #automatic promotion, #hiring, #work like idiot, #look like idiot, #pointy haired alice

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"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #workplace rumours, #idiot, #false rumor, #charging for rumors

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Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #sales, #travel, #business, #idiot, #angry

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The Boss says, "The opening is in sales. Do you like to travel." Man says, "Yes. It's my favorite thing." The Boss says, "No one likes business travel. You're either an idiot or you've never done business travel." Man says, "How dare you accuse me of not traveling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #idiot, #question, #placebo

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Dilbert says, "I need answers to these questions for a confidential project. I can't tell you more." Coworker says, "I'm a complete idiot and even I can deduce from your questions what the project must be." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, so some of you idiots are getting placebo questions." Coworker says, "Well played."