Be Strong Comic Strips - Page 3
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Strong Guy says to Dilbert who is working in the cubicle, "I'm going on a fifty-mile run. Would you care to join me?" Dilbert says, "No." Dilbert works on his computer. Strong Guy says, "I signed up for two triathlons this weekend. Do you want the entry forms?" Dilbert says, "No." Strong Guy says, "Next week a few of us will be leaping into geosynchronous orbit..." Dilbert raises his arms in frustration and says, "Gaa!"
Tags #the boyfriend project, #progress, #seen in public, #slimmed down, #toned up, #changed clothes, #no combover, #nobel prize, #wrestiling, #party, #cocktail party, #feeding words, #socializing, #mistakes, #speech, #control
Caption reads: "The Boyfriend Project." Alice holds up a "Before" picture of her boyfriend in front of him. He is now strong, lean, and completely, bald. She says, "You're making good progress." Alice's boyfriend continues to flex his muscles as she says, "I'm ready to be seen with you in public. But don't do any talking." Alice and her boyfriend are seen talking to another couple at a party. Her boyfriend says, "...And that's why I think there should be a Nobel Prize for wrestling." Alice leans over and whispers in his ear, "I said..."
The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally addresses him, "Teamwork is nature's way of identifying the weak." Wally continues, "The strong, such as myself, put all of our energy into perpetuating our genes." Wally concludes, "Now this is when you usually try to put a negative spin on everything."
Asok says to Catbert, "I would like to improve my interpersonal skills." Catbert responds, "Take this training CD back to your cube and go wild." Asok sits at his computer in fear as the CD says, "Humans are weak. Computers are strong. Come, join our side."
"You need to work this weekend." "There's no work to do. I'm waiting for input." "That doesn't matter. Strong leaders make their people work on weekends." "Then he asked me what the clueless leaders do, as if I would know that."
Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."
Dilbert says, "The flash on our smart phone prototype is so strong that it's dangerous." The boss says, "I'd better show this to our CEO." Dilbert says, "Is that really a good idea?" Dogbert says, "Now pose with Ted so I can get a group shot."
Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."
Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"