Beat You To It Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

52 Results for Beat You To It

View 21 - 30 results for beat you to it comic strips. Discover the best "Beat You To It" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economic success, #stock price, #fire batch, #incompetence, #lying customers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You employees are the key to our economic success." The Boss explains, "Anytime we need a little stock-price boost, we just fire another batch of you. It's like printing money!" The Boss holds up a chart and says, "In fact, 'incompetence' has become our most profitable product." Alice says, "Wow. It beat out 'lying to customers.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #d chop, #television, #feel safer, #screens, #violent shows, #news, #Sports, #dramas, #sexual innuendo, #comedy commercials, #weather reports, #tornado rips, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert holds a device and says, "I call my invention the D-Chip Television Filter." Dogbert says, "I feel safer already." Dilbert explains, "It screens out any show with violence." Dogbert replies, "There goes the news, sports and dramas." Dilbert says, "It also gets rid of shows that feature dishonesty or sexual innuendos." Dogbert says, "Goodbye comedy and commercials." Dilbert says, "Let's hook it up." Dilbert sits on the couch holding the remote control and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert looks at the television and says, "All we're getting is weather reports." The newscaster says, "A huge tornado ripped through a . . ." There is a beep and then only static. Dilbert says, "It works! The evil can't get to us now, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Unhook that #!*% thing or I'll rip off your leg and beat you to death with it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting, #airfare, #business trip, #saturday, #reimburse, #saturday hotel costs, #business activity, #understand, #economic choices, #waste money, #ugly brain dead troll, #free lunch money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the cave where the accounting department is located. He groans. Dilbert tells a troll, "I saved $500 in airfare by extending my business trip to Saturday." Dilbert asks, "Why won't you reimburse me for the Saturday hotel costs?" The troll replies, "Saturday was not a business-related activity." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Let me see if I understand this . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's NOT business-related to make sensible economic choices . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it IS business-related to waste money like an ugly, brain-dead troll . . ." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and wearing disheveled clothes. He tells Dogbert, "Then he beat me up and took my lunch money." Dogbert asks, "Are you saying I can get free lunch money by beating you up?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company concierge, #alibi, #lye, #a barrel, #police, #break you, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee says to Ratbert the Concierge, "I need an alibi." The employee continues, "The police will try to beat the truth out of you, but don't let them break you!" The employee goes on, "I also need lye...and a barrel...better yet, make that two barrels."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee rehadb, #rip beard, #death, #state name, #coffee addicting withdrawl, #sleeping, #mean, #nasty, #cutting, #violent, #falls asleep, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Coffee Rehab. A man stands at a podium and says, "State your name and how long you've been without coffee." The audience is asleep except for one angry patient who says, "I am going to rip off your little beard and beat you to death with it." The man at the podium thinks to himself, "Don't panic... wait... wait...." The angry patient continues, "And then I'll... um... zzzzzzz, zzzzz, zzz."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #menagerlike work, #criticize, #reorganize, #key board, #hot slef, #noredom, #offcie, #re organizing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: It's been a few hours since I've done anything managerish. I could criticize someone...nah. I could have a meeting...nah. Im reorganizing the department. Dilbert: excuse me while i beat myself with my keyboard.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #receptionist, #director of first impressions, #send email.anger, #upsat, #realization

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Im starting to think that the director of first impressions is.... GAAA!!! IM A RECEPTIONIST!! Beat it, you walrus! Maybe I'll just send an email.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont worry, #high crime area, #experts assure you, #gange members, #exhautsed, #beat up

View Transcript

Transcript

CAtbert: Don't worry that the company is moving to a high-crime area. "My experts assure me that you'll have a 90% chance of survival every time you walk outside." "That estimate depends on the assumption that the gang members become exhausted from beating you up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #high crime area, #fiduciary, #misconducting, #cfo, #kicked, #beat up

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "I hate walking to work in this high-crime area." "Take this, you fiduciary misconducting *#@!%" "That was our C.E.O."<Br>"I know."