Beta Test Comic Strips - Page 3

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182 Results for Beta Test

View 21 - 30 results for beta test comic strips. Discover the best "Beta Test" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #scientific, #test, #women's institution, #Number, #5.`362894, #love, #numbers

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The caption says, "Dogbert performs a scientific test of so-called 'women's intuition.'" Dogbert and a woman sit at a table. Dogbert says, "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten." The woman says, "5.1362894 . . . No, I'll say three." Dogbert says, "Wrong! The answer is 5.1362894 . . . I'm beginning to wonder if you're really a woman."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed, #driving, #test, #nine, #Dogbert, #school, #specialize, #problem, #application, #form, #special, #pointy

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A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #driving school, #student, #driver, #stereo, #signal, #car, #phone, #defrost, #window, #fishing, #driving, #simulator, #test, #drive

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Dogbert and a boy sit in a car with a "Student Driver" sign on the roof. Dogbert says, "With your right hand, insert a CD into the stereo . . . Good." Dogbert continues, "Now signal left! Answer the car phone! Defrost the rear window! Honk is you love fishing!" The student panics and tosses the phone into the air. Dogbert says, "Fortunately, we're only in the driving simulator." The car is sitting in a dealership showroom. A salesman approaches the car and asks, "Do you boys want to take it for a test drive?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #school, #technology, #microwave, #timer, #fool, #beta, #imbeciles

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Dogbert asks the class, "Can anybody show me what you do with a microwave?" A man opens the microwave and says, "I insert the video tape . . . Then I set the timer for ninety minutes . . ." A cloud of smoke comes from the microwave. Dogbert asks, "Does anybody know why it isn't working?" A man says, "The fool! It's Beta!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delay, #beta trial, #exploding, #engineers, #pessimists, #foucs, #positive aspects, #trial, #hassle, #non disclosure, #agreements

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"You've got to delay the beta trial with customers until we figure out why it keeps exploding!" "You engineers are such pessimists. Just once, try to focus on the positive aspects of the trial!" "We won't need to hassle with 'non-disclosure agreements'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #continue seeing dilbert, #pass my test, #dogs are superior, #she devil

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Liz sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Liz, if you're going to continue seeing Dilbert, you'll have to pass my test." Dogbert continues, "Question one: give seven hundred reasons why dogs are superior to cats." Liz pats Dogbert on the head and says, "Well, the first six hundred reasons have to do with the fact that you're cuter." Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Fingernails! She-devil!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bring strangers in, #test product, #strangers are stupid, #good candy

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The Boss, Dilbert and a man with an eye patch sit at a conference table. The man says, "Sure, we could bring some strangers in to test out product for ease of use . . ." The man continues, "But that could take all afternoon and cost at least a hundred dollars." The man continues, "And all it proves is strangers are stupid." The Boss says, "Sometimes they have good candy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proposed work, #plan, #stress test, #product, #network conditions, #accomplish, #downloading, #large image files, #servers, #on net, #naughty pictures

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Wally hands the Boss a piece of paper and says, "My proposed work plan for the year is to stress-test our product under severe network conditions." Wally continues, "I will accomplish this by downloading large image files from the busiest servers on the net." As Wally and Dilbert walk away from the meeting, Wally comments, "I was THIS close to making it my job to download naughty pictures." Dilbert says, "It's just as well; I would have had to kill you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beta prodcut, #fix problems, #logically impossible, #schedule, #manager, #not engineer

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "How long will it take to fix any problems we find in our beta product?" Dilbert answers, "It is logically impossible to schedule for the unknown." The Boss says, "Try to think as a manager, not as an engineer." Dilbert says, "In that case, we'll fix the problems before we find them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #cop, #ticket, #u-turn, #murderers, #thugs, #taxes, #mustache, #police brutality, #police, #sobreity, #test

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Dilbert drives his car. He hears a siren behind him and thinks, "Police?" The officer stands at Dilbert's window and says, "You made an illegal U-turn." Dilbert says, "You're giving me a ticket for THAT?! A measly U-turn?!" Dilbert says angrily, "I can't believe it! The world is full of murderers and thugs, but you stop ME?" Dilbert says, "I'm wasting my taxes on your salary!" Dilbert continues, "And frankly, those mustaches you guys all grow don't make you look any smarter." The policeman says, "Please step out of your car for the sobriety test." Dilbert arrives at home wearing dirty and torn clothing. He tells Dogbert, ". . . So, it turns out that the sobriety test involves flinging yourself down a muddy embankment."