Bunch Of Termites Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

54 Results for Bunch Of Termites

View 21 - 30 results for bunch of termites comic strips. Discover the best "Bunch Of Termites" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #masterpiece, #Dilbert, #discovered, #art, #form, #brilliant, #considered, #abstract, #expression, #inner, #feelings, #gullible, #morons

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the table drawing on a piece of paper. He thinks, "Another masterpiece." Dilbert asks, "What are you doing, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I discovered a highly efficient art form." Dogbert explains, "I've brilliantly combined the simplicity of charcoal with the simplicity of abstract expression." Dogbert continues, "The secret is to let your deepest inner feelings guide the charcoal." Dilbert looks at a drawing and says, "Inner feelings?! What inner feelings? These are scribbles." Dilbert continues, "All I see here is that a cynical dog thinks art buyers are a bunch of gullible morons." Dogbert says, "Wow! I nailed that one!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #email, #the president, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the paper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "It says the president can now receive electronic mail." Dogbert asks, "Really?" Dogbert stands on the desk chair and types, "Dear Mr. President, I would like to make a few suggestions on how to run the country." Dogbert types, "As you know, the citizens are mostly imbeciles." Dogbert types, "You should give an executive order for all people to march into the sea." Dogbert types, "Then, the few of us who are smart enough to ignore you can divide up their stuff." Dogbert types, "This may seem slightly immoral, but it's better than having a bunch of unwanted people clogging up the country." Dogbert pauses. Dogbert types, "And we won't have to hear your brother sing anymore. Sincerely, Ross Perot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #mother, #buy wquipment, #budget cut, #navy seal, #mom proud, #blocks reality, #doesn't hear son, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert says, "My boss told me to buy a bunch of equipment that we don't need." Dilbert's Mom hands Dilbert a piece of cake and a glass of milk. Dilbert says, "That way our budget won't get cut next year." Dilbert's mom says, "I'm so proud of you, son." Dilbert says, "How do you say that with a straight face?" Dilbert's mom says, "I try to imagine you as a navy seal." Dilbert's mom salutes.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #security guards in space, #need badge, #search lunch box, #watch lunch, #cart to car, #space travel safe, #for animals, #ratbert, #security guard, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch reading a magazine with his feet on the coffee table. Dogbert and Ratbert stand on the table. Dogbert says, "We're going downtown to play 'security guards in space.'" Dilbert says, "I don't want to know." Dogbert and Ratbert walk down the sidewalk pulling a lunch box shaped like a space rocket. Ratbert says, "Let's try that building." The security guard says to Dogbert, "I'll need to see your I.D. badge, sir." Dogbert shows him something and says, "Look fast!! There it is!! Not a pack of matches!!" The security guard says, "Okay." The guard says, "I'll have to search your lunch box." The guard looks inside the rocket and says, "It's just a bunch of wires and gizmos." Dogbert says, "You're making me SO hungry." Dogbert asks, "Could you watch my lunch while I take the cart back to my car?" The guard sits on the rocket. Dogbert tells Ratbert, "I feel bad, but it's the only way to test if space travel is safe for us animals." Ratbert says, "I feel safer already "

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #few suggestions, #alice's document, #bonk, #guards to document, #obtuse acronyms, #jargon, #multi topic sentences, #stubby, #plastic stautes

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk. Wally enters and says, "I had a few suggestions on your document, Alice." Wally bangs his head on her monitor. Alice says, "Thanks." The Boss approaches Alice's desk and says, "I've made some upgrades to your document, Alice." Alice looks at the paper and says, "That's just what it needed: a bunch of obtuse acronyms and jargon." Alice continues, "Oooh, looky! You've also made elegant multi-topic sentences out of my stubby clear ones!" The Boss replies, "Thank you. And put me down as the author since I'm the boss." Alice says, "Maybe I should distribute little plastic statues of you with every copy. How about that?" Alice hands Dilbert a statue and a document and says, "Here's your copy, here's your statue, don't ask." Dilbert says, "Our quality is low, but at least we don't get credit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #two day workshop, #mission, #vision, #useless jargon, #illiterate execustives, #mind numbing, #job security, #ethical behavior, #better idea, #high marks, #class evalutaion

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "In this two day workshop, you will learn to embrace our company's mission and vision." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in the audience. The man continues, "At first glance it will appear to be a bunch of useless jargon created by functionally illiterate executives." The man continues, "But after we do some mind-numbing group exercises . . ." The man continues, ". . . You'll forget that you're underpaid and you have no job security." The man turns to an easel and says, "We'll begin by writing down all the things that 'ethical behavior' means to you." Alice says, "I've got a better idea: if you let us leave now, we'll give you high marks on the class evaluation." The man stands at the front of the room thinking. Wally hands the man his evaluation and says, "Good job. You touched me." The man replies, "You wish."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #management book, #obvious advice, #quotes from dead people, #ganghi, #assert cart, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2000's comic on:


Tags #vp stalks alice, #bouquet, #pencils, #fire secreatry, #vp, #no flowers

View Transcript

Transcript

VP Stalks Alice VP: I brought you a bouquet, Alice. Alice: Thats a bunch of pencils, not a flower bouquet. VP: Really? May I use your phone? I need to fire my secretary.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #disgram, #shares connected, #lines, #impressive words, #synchronized space, #presentation, #experiment, #disturbing, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is carrying-out a presentation. He is standing in front of the attendees, next to a diagram. He says: "I'd like to start with a diagram." He points at the diagram and explains: "It's a bunch of shapes connected by lines." He continues: "Now I will say some impressive words." He says: "Synchronized Incremental Digital Integrated Dynamic E-Commerce Space." He asks: "Any questions?" One of the attendees raises his hand and asks: "May I have a copy of your presentation?" Dilbert stands alone, surrounded by white space and silence. He arrives home and tells Dogbert: "The results of my experiment are disturbing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #buzzwords, #strung together, #same status reprt, #every week, #eleven years, #mission statement

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, your status report is just a bunch of buzzwords strung together." Wally replies, "I've been giving you that same status report every week for eleven years." Wally continues, "Five years ago you adopted it as our mission statement."