Burn The Ruler Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

67 Results for Burn The Ruler

View 21 - 30 results for burn the ruler comic strips. Discover the best "Burn The Ruler" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new corporate trainer, teach classes, stress reduction, teamwork, burn in hell, filthy weasel, hired you, subject matter expert

View Transcript

Transcript

Someone behind a desk tells Ratbert, "I'm looking for a new corporate trainer to help me teach classes in stress reduction, conflict resolution, and teamwork." Ratbert yells, "I'll burn in hell before I'll do your work plus my own, you filthy weasel!!!" Dilbert asks, "And they hired you?" Ratbert replies, "A good trainer doesn't have to be a subject matter expert."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags phil, ruler of heck, pitchspoon, minor sins, merging company, non alcoholic beer, synergy, bad pun

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil says, "I used to be Phil The Ruler of Heck. My pitchspoon was feared by all who committed minor sins." Asok leans on Phil's desk. Phil says, "Then I made the mistake of merging with a company that makes non-alcoholic beer. I was ousted." Phil screams, "They said we'd have synergy!" Asok suggests, "Maybe it was just a bad pun."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags %#*!!*, anger, burning walls eyebrow, curse, demonstrate power, eyebrows burn off, scream

View Transcript

Transcript

Ann sits in a metting with Wally and Dilbert. Ann says, "If you anger me, I will curse at you until your eyebrows burn off." Ann says, "I ll demonstrate my power by burning Wally's left eyebrow." Wally's mouth drops in shock. Ann curses loudly. Wally and Dilbert look at Wally's lap. Wally says, "Ow! Ow! That's not an eyebrow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags phil, prince insufficient light, spreme ruler, hideous fates sins, high pay, eternal poverty, useful, appreciated, current job, telecommuting

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil the Ruler of Heck watches Dilbert and thinks, "My next victim." Phil says, "I am Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and Supreme Ruler of Heck!!" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Hi, Phil." Phil says, "You must choose one of these two hideous fates to pay for your sins." Phil continues, "You can choose eternal high pay, but all of your work will be burned in front of you at the end of each day . . ." Phil continues, "Or you can choose eternal poverty, but your work will be useful and appreciated." Dilbert says, "WOW! They're BOTH better than my current job!" Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, you might want to get in on this!" Wally confesses, "I watch tv when I'm supposed to be telecommuting." Phil thinks, "I hate the nineties." Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Do me first!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags refreshed, vacation for boss, calm and relaxed, burn clothes, wally sat in chair, cooty squad

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss walks back into his office and thinks, "I'm refreshed from my vacation." The Boss sits in his chair and thinks, "I am calm and relaxed." Carol says, "Wally sat in your chair." The Boss' chair is being lifted out by members of the Cooty Squad. One of the Cooty Squad workers says to The Boss, "We'll have to burn your clothes too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags broke, bankrupt comapny, 401k worthless, diversifying your investments, 37% retrurn, burn in hell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "I'm broke. The company declared bankruptcy and my 401k savings are worthless." Dogbert replies, "No, I've been impersonating you and diversifying your investments into tobacco, sweat shops, and diamond mines." Dilbert says, "Really?! How am I doing?" Dogbert responds, "It's mixed. You have a 37% return but your soul will burn for eternity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ruler of heck, devils advocate, do devil work, not certified, sarcastic, good time, move on

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces Phil to a meeting, "I've hired Phil, the ruler of heck, to act as devil's advocate." Phil responds, "I'm not certified to do devil work. The best I can do is roll my eyes and be sarcastic." The Boss says, "Okay... moving on..." Phil rolls his eyes and says, "Oh yeah, this is a good time to move on."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stalled career, psychological pressure, reach stars, hopeless, burn your hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "Wally, how do I handle the psychological pressure of a stalled career?" Wally: "Remember that when you reach for the stars, they're too far away, so it's hopeless." Asok: "But sometimes you can reach a star.. can't you?" Wally: "That would burn your hand clean off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hotel check out, movies rented, porn, burn furniture

View Transcript

Transcript

I hope you enjoyed your stay. I'll just check to see what movies you rented. GAA!!! GAAA!!!! GAA!!!! GAAA!!! GAAA!!!! and i recommend that we burn the furniture.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags topper vs. a customer, dogsled race, world toughest terrain, better than, top you, cancel deal, burn to ground, go one better, more better

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"