C Level Suite Comic Strips - Page 3

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127 Results for C Level Suite

View 21 - 30 results for c level suite comic strips. Discover the best "C Level Suite" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #daughter, #cub girl cookies, #volume level, #downsizer, #low performer, #fast tracker, #united way chairperson

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I'll be writing your performance review this afternoon." The Boss continues, "But this morning I'm helping my daughter sell cub girl cookies." The Boss continues, "For your shopping convenience I have assigned a name to each volume level." Dilbert reads, "Zero to four boxes is the 'downsizer' volume . . ." Dilbert reads, "Five to eight boxes is the 'low performer' volume level." Dilbert writes on the order form and says, "Let's say six hundred boxes." The Boss says, "Ahh . . . The 'fast tracker.' An excellent choice." Dilbert asks, "What's your daughter's name?" The Boss says, "Ooh . . . Gotta go." Wally says, "I only bought twelve boxes. Now I'm the 'United Way' chairperson." Dilbert says, "I just signed your name for six hundred more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #make copy, #secretary, #more cost effective, #highly paid, #document, #high level plnning, #secretary takes lunch, #never makes copy

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Dilbert holds a paper and says, "I'll make a quick copy and then we can discuss it." The Boss says, "No, no. I'll have my secretary do that." Dilbert protests, "That will take longer." The Boss says, "It's more cost-effective." The Boss hands the paper to Carol and says,"We're highly-paid professionals. Carol is... well... I don't know if we pay her at all." The Boss says, "Now we'refree to do high-level planning." DIlbert says, "Um... we kinda need that document." Carol is in her cubicle and drops the document on a stack of papers labeled "Urgent." She looks at her watch and says, "Ooh, time for lunch." Dilbert rests his head in his hands and the Boss says, "So... do you fish?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weekly, #wally status report, #process pride, #impact on earnings, #pride in results, #high level, #morale, #pride in process

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conferance table. Wally says, "It is my pleasure to present the weekly 'Wally status report'." Wally says, "This week I developed what I call 'process pride'." Wally says, "It all started when I realized that I have no impact on earnings." Wally says, "Obviously I can't take pride in the RESULTS of my work." Dilbert says, "Obviously." Wally says, "But I need pride. Otherwise, how could Imantain my high level of morale?" Wally says, "So I learned to take pride in my processes instead of my results." Wally says, "Everything I do is still pointless. But I am very proud of the way I do it." The Boss says, "Is that all you did this week?" Wally says, "Hey, I'm only one person."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insulted, #same level, #attractness, #hot sexy car, #electric car

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Ming says to Dilbert, "Frankly, I'm insulted that you asked me out." Ming continues, "It means you think we're about the same level of attractiveness." Ming then says to Dilbert, "You'd better have one heckuva sexy car." Dilbert replies, "It's electric."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #network server, #certifed, #power of certifciation, #embarrassing, #c for certified, #superman tech, #class, #forgets

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Dilbert stands in front of a computer typing. A man dressed as a superhero with a 'C' on his chest says, "Step away from that network server! I'm certified!" The man sits in front of the computer, raises his arms and calls, "I summon the vast power of certification!!!" The man looks at the computer and says, "Well, this is embarassing; that's all I remember from the classes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #four hundred features, #level of complexity, #easy to use

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Dilbert is talking to a worker. Holding a list, Dilbert says, "Your user requirements include four hundred features." Dilbert continues, "Do you realize that no human would be able to use a product with that level of complexity?" The worker says, "Good point. I'd better add 'easy to use' to the list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mismatch, #improve yourself, #my level, #gaining weight, #terrible haircut, #few teeth, #wear stained clothes, #tobacco

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Dilbert and the woman from the gym are walking outside. The woman says, "We're such a mismatch that I doubt you'll ever improve yourself all the way to my level." She continues, "Maybe I could meet you in the middle by gaining thirty pounds and getting a terrible haircut." Dilbert and the woman sit on the bank of the river. She continues, "...Knock out a few teeth, wear stained clothes, chew tobacco..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #international sales call, #dress, #one level above customer, #cherub, #lighting bolt, #vatican, #overdress

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need you to go on an international sales call." Dilbert asks, "How should I dress?" The Boss responds, "Salespeople should dress one level above the customer." Dilbert is dressed like God. He has a lightning bolt in one hand and a cherub staff in the other. He asks Dogbert, "What's better - the cherub or the lightning bolt?" Dogbert responds, "Take both. You can't overdress at the vatican."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tasks, #a, #b or c priorities, #a priorities, #after i update, #left in tank

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Wally: "Every morning I rank my tasks as A, B, or C priorities." The Boss: "And then you work on the 'A' priorities first?" Wally: "To be honest, after I update the list, there isn't much left in the tank."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #level conscious, #vide presidents offcie, #secretary, #make direct eye contact, #meeting, #boss, #new hire, #business

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"We're not 'level conscious' here." "You could walk up to any vice president's office and talk to his secretary as if you were an equal." "Which, by the way, you're not. So don't try to make direct eye contact."