Calling In Strategy Comic Strips - Page 3

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222 Results for Calling In Strategy

View 21 - 30 results for calling in strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Calling In Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1998's comic on:

Tags #project plan, #strategy, #leadership, #radiates, #boss ego, #proud, #strategy is plan

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Dilbert at his computer terminal. The Boss says, "Is your project plan done?" Diblert ressonds, "I can't do a plan until you tell me the strategy." The Boss says, "My strategy is to make you do a plan." Dilbert stares at his computer. The Boss walks away and thinks, "Sometimes the leadership just radiates from my body."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 1998's comic on:

Tags #financial model, #original spreadsheet, #developing strategy, #pay base, #tax rate

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The boss gives Wally and Dilbert a piece of paper. The Boss says, "I did some financial modeling on my own." Wally says, "But you didn't know any of the assumptions that went into the original spread sheet." The Boss says, "That didn't stop me from developing a strategy." Dilbert says, "Our pay is based on the tax rate now."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1995's comic on:

Tags #voicemail, #Wally, #simple incompetence, #preview, #sinister, #defensive strategy, #incomplete answers, #over worked, #irrational, #asking questions, #recount war stories, #thwart me, #team up

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Dilbert stands next to Wally's desk and says, "Wally, you never really answered the question I left on your voicemail." Dilbert asks, "Is this a case of simple incompetence or a preview of something far more sinster?" Wally replies, "It's the sinister one." Wally explains, "I've adopted a defensive strategy. I'm withholding information to make myself appear more valuable." Wally continues, "Now I only return phone calls late at night and leave incomplete answers." Wally continues, "In person, I act overworked and irrational so people stop asking questions." Wally continues, "If cornered, I sigh deeply and recount old war stories that don't relate to the question." Wally concludes, "No co-worker can thwart me!" Dilbert asks, "What if they team up?" Behind Wally's back, Alice reaches over the wall and grabs Wally's CPU. She thinks, "Got it!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1999's comic on:

Tags #successful project, #job eliminated, #smartest thing, #fail miserably, #clear strategy

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A woman (Tina ?) stands in the boss's office. She says, "I just realized that if my project is a success, my job will be eliminated." She says, "The smartest thing to do is to fail miserably and blame it all on your indecisiveness." She says, "I'm happy because I have a clear strategy!" The boss thinks, "I haven't nodded in a while."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1999's comic on:

Tags #pick up phone, #calling and calling, #fist of death, #gnawed, #wall to escape

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Alice stands behind Asok who sits at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, I've been calling and calling, but you don't pick up your phone." Alice pushes up her sleeve and says, "I'd like you to meet a little something I call the "fist of death." Wally and Dilbert look at a tattered hole in a cubicle wall. Wally says, "It looks like he gnawed through the wall to escape."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1999's comic on:

Tags #two more people, #enough direct reports, #vice president title, #strategy

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The boss reads a memo and thinks, "If I eliminate the training budget, I can afford to hire two more people." The Boss smirks, and thinks, "Then I'll have enough direct reports to get a vice president title." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Shouldn't we have a strategy?" The Boss says, "I have one. Thanks for asking."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1999's comic on:

Tags #detect trends, #act accordingly, #not having strategy, #make itself

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Ted is giving a presentation using slides and a pointer. He points to the slide which has an arrow pointing to a spot and says: "Our strategy is to detect any trends and react accordingly." Asok, Wally and Dilbert are sitting at a table with sheets of paper in front of them. Dilbert says: "Isn't that exactly the same as not having a strategy?" Ted answers: "Hey, this slide didn't make itself."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 29, 2000's comic on:

Tags #action items, #filberts mother, #gnp, #not giving back, #tuition money, #costs for strategy

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Dilbert is with his Mom. She is drinking tea. She asks Dilbert: "Did you do any action items this week?" Dilbert answers: "I gathered costs for a strategy we had already decided not to use." Dilbert's Mom says: "That helps the Ol' GNP." Dilbert tells her: "I'm not giving back your tuition money."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2000's comic on:

Tags #company a, #dogbert consults, #free sample, #web strategy

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Dogbert the consultant says to the Boss, "Here's a free sample of my work." The Boss says to Dobgert as he reads the booklet, "So company 'A' was managed by idiots with no web strategy." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What would you recommend for my company?" Dogert replies, "First, change its name to 'A'.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2000's comic on:

Tags #self service consulting, #strategy, #massive bills, #hoping to print

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Dogbert says to the Boss while standing atop his desk, "I now offer self-service consulting." Dogbert continues, "Write down your strategy and I'll send you massive bills." The Boss asks, "Do you have a card?" Dogbert replies, "I was hoping you'd print some for me."