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View 21 - 30 results for charge me same comic strips. Discover the best "Charge Me Same" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1997's comic on:


Tags #manager training, #same room, #decison, #illustrate point, #puppet show, #blamesville, #manager meg

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An instructor says, "Never be in the same room as a decision." A diagram labeled "Decision" shows a person running and the label, "You." The Boss and two other pointy-haired managers sit and listen. The instructor says, "I'll illustrate my point with a puppet show that I call..." The instructor holds two hand puppets and says, "Journey to Blameville, starring Suggestion Sam and Manager Meg."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #deputy of common sense, #motivate emplyees, #insulting gifts, #symbolism, #chess pieces, #same team, #pawns, #saving rooks

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Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and stands on The Boss's desk and says, "You are accused of trying to motivate employees with insulting gifts." The Boss says, "You're missing the symbolism. I gave them chess pieces to show them we're all on the same team." Dogbert hass a hand on his gun and syas, "Specifically, you gave them pawns." The Boss says, "I'm saving the rooks for bonus day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #combines two projects, #not the same, #boss doesn't undertsnd, #too late, #logical solition, #eliminate your project, #resourceful idiot

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The Boss: "I just had my annual meeting with our Vice President." "We decided to combine your project with Project 'Bigfoot' because they're basically the same." Dilbert: "They're not the same! It only seems like it to you because you don't understand either project!" "Oh, well. It's too late to do anything. I told him they were the same." Dilbert: "Just call him and say you were wrong." The Boss: "I can see why you're not in management." "The logical solution is to wait for the next budget cut and eliminate your project, thus solving two problems." Dilbert: "There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #photocopier, #access code, #proprietary information, #same comapny, #ask question, #who's on first

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Dilbert stands at the copier reading a message that says, "Please enter photocopier access code." A woman stands behind him. Dilbert asks, "What's the code for this machine?" The woman replies, "That's proprietary information." Dilbert says, "We work for the same company. My cubicle is down the hall." The woman says, "I have no way of verifying your claim. Anybody could come in here and say that." Dilbert says, "Ask me a question that only an employee of this company could answer." The woman replies, "Okay." The woman asks, "What is the access code for this copier?" Dilbert looks at the woman. Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. The woman holds up a document and says, "I just have one . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #putting in charge, #biff, #big improvements for free, #recommend ways, #increase profit, #spend mpney, #make money, #more money, #so called, #report tomorrow, #lava lamps, #few bucks

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The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I'm putting you in charge of project 'BIFF.'" The Boss says "'BIFF' stands for 'Big Improvements For Free.'" The Boss says, "Your job is to recommend ways to increase profits without spending money or changing anything." Dilbert says, "You have to spend money to make money." The Boss says, "If we HAD money to spend we wouldn't need to MAKE money. Duh." Dilbert says, "The point is that you can make MORE money than you spend." The Boss says, "I'm not following your so-called 'point.'" The Boss says, "Logically, anything I don't understand is unimportant. Have your report tomorrow." The Boss sits at his desk, holding Dilbert's report. The Boss says, "So, you recommend . . . Replacing all managers with lava lamps." Dilbert reaches into his pocket and says, "Here's a few bucks for the lava lamps."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #crossfire, #cnn, #only creature, #televsion, #each me, #debate, #television, #same desires, #experiences, #disagree, #stupid, #over silplfying, #Opinion, #Entertainment

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Dilbert sits at his desk next to Dogbert. Ratbert enters and says, "I've been invited to be a guest on 'Crossfire' on CNN." Ratbert says, "I'm the only creature on earth who hasn't already been on television." Ratbert asks, "Can you teach me how to debate on television, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Okay." Dogbert says, "First, Ratbert, assume everybody has the same desires and experiences as you." Ratbert touches his head and says, "Absorb absorb." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, if they disagree with you they must be stupid." Dilbert says, "I think you're over-simplifying, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "What was that opinion, Ratbert?" Ratbert replies, "Stupid!" Dogbert says, "You're ready for 'Crossfire,' Ratbert." Ratbert says, "I usually like the same movies as the fat one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #over worked, #engineer, #more work, #too many projects, #success impossible, #same result, #honk honk, #inventory, #office building, #engineering

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The Boss, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss hands Alice a paper and says, "Take care of this, Alice." Alice says, "'Take care of this'? This would double my workload." Alice says, "I've already got so many projects that I can't do anything useful with any of them." Alive continues, "But if success is impossible then . . . I'm . . free . ." Alice laughs and shouts, "Free! Free!" Alice sings, "The result will be the same no matter what I do! Yes yes yes." Alice grabs the Boss's hair and says, "Honk honk!" The Boss says, "Moving along . . . We need to inventory our office equipment." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a job for Alice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #cahnges, #corporate culture, #longer hours, #without pay, #management says same, #team, #vapid slogans, #notepads, #useless meetings, #culture change, #fad menu, #rule by fear, #business

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've decided to make some changes to our corporate culture." Wally says, "Let me guess what that means." Wally continues, "We'll work longer hours without extra pay . . ." Wally continues, "Your management style will remain exactly the same because Lord knows there's no need for YOU to change." Dilbert adds, "We'll start calling ourselves a 'team' so it doesn't seem like work!" Alice covers her eyes and says, "I predict there will be vapid slogans printed on notepads, and maybe some useless meetings." Dilbert says, "She's psychic!" Dilbert asks, "Is is just me or is the culture already changing?" Wally shouts, "I feel it! We're changing!" Wally looks at the agenda and asks, "What's next on the fad menu?" The Boss thinks, "I wonder if it's too late to rule by fear."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #minor edits, #product brochure, #causes hallucinations, #sterility, #positive spin, #greatest writing challenge, #same old sights, #great gift, #conscince, #three pager

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The Boss says to Tina the Tech Writer, "Tina, we need a few minor edits on our product brochure." Tina sits at her desk and thinks, "Minor? Uh-oh . . ." The Boss continues, "We've discovered that our product causes hallucinations and sterility." The Boss continues, "See if you can put a positive spin on that." Tina thinks, "This will be my greatest writing challenge yet." Tina types, "Are you tired of the same old sights? We've got you covered." Tina types, ". . . Makes a great gift for those people who - in your opinion - should not reproduce." Tina thinks, "Ooh . . . I feel a tiny pang of conscience. That's one." Dilbert asks, "So the brochure was only a three-panger?" Tina replies, "Yeah, and I think I faked the third one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dilbert mother, #promoted, #executive engineer, #same pay, #responsibility, #throw party, #no gifts, #no music, #no food, #no guests, #business cards

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Dilbert is on the phone while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "Mom, guess what.. I got promoted!" Dilbert says, "You're talking to the new Executive Engineer." Dilbert says, "No.. nobody reports to me. No... it's the same pay as before." Dilbert says, "But I do get a lot more responsibility!" Dogbert's ears fly up. Dilbert puts his hand over the telephone receiver and says to Dogbert, "She's going to throw a party for me!" Dilbert's Mom sits on the couch and says, "No.. no gifts. No... no music. No... no food. No.. no guests." Dilbert says, "I guess it's just you and me." Dilberts mom says, "I'm busy that day." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table wearing party hats. Dilbert says, "I'm not allowed to get new business cards, but I can write my new title on the old ones!" Dogbert falls asleep.