Children Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

62 Results for Children

View 21 - 30 results for children comic strips. Discover the best "Children" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #really show, #camera, #capture failures, #humiliations, #dull act of insignificance, #fill void, #fathering children, #being famous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I decided to produce a reality show about your life." Dilbert says, "What?" Dogbert says, "The cameras will follow you around and capture all of your failures and humiliations." Dilbert says, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert says, "Because you suffer from the dull ache of insignificance." Dogbert says, "You can only fill the horrible void in your soul by fathering children or being famous." Dilbert says, "Maybe I prefer to have children." Dogbert says, "And maybe you prefer to flap your ears and fly to Mars." Dogbert says, "Do you see where I'm going with this?" BOP A cameraman says, "Sorry."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Catbert Will Not Help Children

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Catbert Will Not Help Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reasoning, #judgment, #company policy, #rules, #regulations, #rigid, #stringent, #inflexible

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #children drawing & painting, #executives, #chalky substance, #layers of mangement, #new layers, #p, #avp, #director, #doplphon, #inanimate object

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm adding a few layers of management below me. The new layers are VP, AVP, Director, dolphin, inanimate object, and chalky substance. If you have any issue, I encourage you to talk to the chalky substance.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #environmental issues, #children, #interviews, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Jim, our company is family-friendly and very green." The Boss says, "We're also good at setting priorities, so if I get a chance to sell your kids for a handful of carbon credits, I'll do it." The Boss says, "He was less green than I had hoped."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #calendars, #desk, #meails, #meetings, #padtes, #schdeules, #secretary, #coordinates

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor, #doctor fishlips, #police, #escaped convict, #tramp, #nurse, #appendix, #Comic, #comedy, #operation

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: There he is... Tiny Tom the convict is clinging to this man's pancreas. Note: Sometimes it is necessary to suspend disbelief for the purpose of creating comic situations. Parents should explain to their children that convicts will rarely, if ever, cling to another person's pancreas. Doctor Fishlips: Ho ho, it appears we have also located our own nurse Woodmeyer the tramp!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #class, #engineer, #technical, #writing, #reads, #scapegoat, #vacation

View Transcript

Transcript

A school teacher says to a classroom of children, "Dilbert has agreed to talk to the class about exciting careers in the field of engineering!" Dilbert says to the students, "There's more to being an engineer than just writing technical memos that nobody reads." Dilbert continues, "Once in a while, somebody reads one. Then you have to find a scapegoat, or use some vacation time and hope it all blows over."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #engineering, #careers, #cubicle, #restroom, #lower, #electromagnetic fields, #office, #equipment, #killing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #social, #life, #engineer, #bonanza, #ladies, #field, #video games, #devices, #non-engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a classroom of children saying, "And don't forget the social life that comes with being an engineer." Dilbert continues, "Ninety percent of all engineers are guys, so it's a bonanza of dating opportunities for the ladies who enter the field." Dilbert continues, "For the men, there are these little video game devices . . ." A little girl raises her hand and asks, "Would I be allowed to date a non-engineer?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #options, #engineer, #retire, #major, #catastrophe, #consultants, #project, #teams, #real, #crush, #marketing, #donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."