Clear Expectations Comic Strips - Page 3

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105 Results for Clear Expectations

View 21 - 30 results for clear expectations comic strips. Discover the best "Clear Expectations" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #exceeding expectations, #padding objectives, #whistle blower, #award

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Wally says, "As you know, I'm the only employee who is not exceeding expectations." Wally says, "You should punish the others for unscrupulously padding their objectives! Those lying weasels!!" Wally asks The Boss, "Can I get a Whistle-Blower Award for this?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2000's comic on:


Tags #clear mind, #thoughts, #forward basis, #market space, #done practicing

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As Dilbert knocks at his door, The Boss thinks, "I must clear my mind of all thoughts." The Boss says, "At the end of the day we'll be in a market space on a going forward basis." The Boss says, "Om... Om... Page..." Dilbert says, "I'll come back when you're done practicing being useless."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #perfromance, #exceeds expectations, #underachievers, #extra money, #go get money

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Alice enters The Boss' office and says, "My performance exceeds expectations but my pay is based on market averages." Alice continues, "I figure some underachievers are getting the extra money that I earn." Alice continues, "Give me their names so I can go get my money." The Boss replies, "It's Wally."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2002's comic on:


Tags #clear strategy, #most profit, #do more, #less clear, #illegal

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We need a clear strategy. Does anyone have a suggestion?" Dilbert says, "Let's figure out what makes us the most profit, and then do more of it." The Boss responds, "It needs to be less clear than that." Wally asks, "Can it be illegal?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #billion dollar product line, #designed and launched, #meets expectations, #high expectations, #worng

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"Alice, this year you single-handedly designed and launched a billion dollar line of new products." "For that accomplishment, I give you the highly coveted 'meets expectations' designation!" "Alice, if having high expectations of you is wrong, then I don't want to be right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #unclear objectives, #complaint, #be clear, #call a tie, #selfish

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Catbert: The number one complaint from employees is 'unclear objectives.' The Boss: My number one complaint is that it takes too much effort for me to be clear. Catbert: Lets call it a tie. The bossL what are they so selfish?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #hr dept., #views of management, #exceeds expectations, #renamed, #drool, #loser, #die die die, #category changes, #performance review

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CATBERT: EVIl Director of Human Resources Catbert is walking through the office carrying a paper thinking, "I love my job." He walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hello, hapless employee." He continues, "I've renamed the four levels of employee performance..." "...To accurately reflect the views of management." Catbert reading from his paper, "The category of "exceeds expectations" is renamed to..." "..."At least he or she doesn't drool on himself or herself."..." He continues, "..."Meets expectations will be called "loser". "Does not meet expectations" will now be called "Die! Die! Die!"..." Catbert is walking off thinking, "I could send it out by e-mail but I enjoy seeing the looks on their faces."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #twins, #meeting, #clone, #cooler clone, #clear view, #engine purr, #business

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Tina: Is it awkward being in the same meeting as a cooler version of yourself? Scoot back so I can get a clear view. This guy really makes my engine purr. A little more.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #workplace happiness, #direct deposit, #mental distance, #effort, #paycheck, #no clear goal, #doing good work, #job satisafaction, #stress related problems, #highly demotivated, #psychology

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Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #mission, #vision, #core values, #no clear direction, #inappropriate websites

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Wally: Our mission, vision, strategy, road map, and core values are not aligned. So instead of flailing around with no clear direction, I plan to spend my days looking at inappropriate websites. Yesterday, when you said, "Bring me solutions, not problems," I hope you meant it.