Coffe Pot Comic Strips - Page 3

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35 Results for Coffe Pot

View 21 - 30 results for coffe pot comic strips. Discover the best "Coffe Pot" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #replace myself, #cheap elbonian labor, #describe appearence, #coffe mug

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Wally: I'm planning to replace myself with cheap Elbonian labor. Watch this: Turn around and try to describe my appearance. Dilbert: I see glasses...a coffee mug...and thats all, Wally: This will work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #happy place, #mind, #pool of coffee, #coffe cup, #toilet, #donut, #escape, #meeting escape, #drift

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Wally: "I'll escape the horror of this meeting by taking my mind to a happy place." "Aaah... A pool of warm coffee, what could be better?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #proactive, #boring meeting, #fake death, #coffee is posioned, #stiffen, #easier to drag, #pose, #obscene, #spread eagle, #casket, #dispose of body, #Wally

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Wally sits in a metting between Dilbert and Alice. Wally thinks, "I'll have to be proactive to escape this boring meeting." Wally takes a sip from his coffee and thinks, "I'll fake my own death and hope someone drags me into the hallway." Wally says, "Ack!! My coffee is poisoned!" Wally lies on the ground feet in the air. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should drag him into the hallway." Alice says, "No." Alice says, "Let's wait for him to stiffen. Then he'll be easier to drag." Ted says, "We should pose him before he stiffens." Dilbert says, "Something obscene?" Alice says, "Or spread eagle, so he won't fit in a casket." Wally lies on the grouns arms and legs wide with his coffe cup pearched on his face and thinks, "It never pays to be the proactive one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2006's comic on:


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That new employee is getting special treatment just because she's hot. It's unfair. "She's hot? Where is her cubicle? Maybe I should bring her some coffee." "Do you mind brewing an extra pot? I don't know how big her mug is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #coffe maker, #aggressive, #machine, #contraption, #big, #metal, #fierce, #ridiculous

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Wally: You must be the new coffee machine. Thoop! It's aggressive, but I like that in my coffee makers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #mother, #son, #sarcastic, #plant, #flower pot, #web only company, #imagination, #Family

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Dilbert says, "My company is going to a web-only business model." Mom says, "That's terrific." Mom says, "What's phase three? Does it involve operating only in your own imagination?" Dilbert says, "Be nice." Mom says, "Maybe you can help me grow this plant back into a seed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #buzzing of flies, #channel irrational impulse, #coffe machine broken, #confusion, #ignoring, #intern, #nervousness, #talking, #thirst for coffeee, #vp of engineering

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Asok thinks, "It's our vice president of engineering." Asok says, "Hello. I am Asok the intern, may I tell you about an idea I have?" Wally says, "Vice presidents can't hear us, Asok. To them, our voices sound like the faint buzzing of flies." Wally says, "If you want to give him your idea you have to do it indirectly." Wally says, "Tell someone who knows someone, who know's someone else, who knows the vice president." Wally says, "Or do what I do and channel your irrational impulse to be useful into an unquenchable thirst for coffee." Asok says, "So...What are you helping me?" Wally says, "The coffee machine is broken."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stress free, #unrealistic beliefs, #people care, #stapler, #steal, #coworkers, #budget numbers, #lying, #briefcase, #coffe cup

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Asok: Wally how can you be so stress free? Wally: Its quite simple. Stress is caused by an unrealistic belief that people care about you, I, on the other hand expect pope to be like me. Lets visit ted and I'll show you how this works. Ted, do you have the budget numbers that you promised me? Thats next on my to-do lit. While he was lying to me, I told his stapler, so I came out a head. He forgot his mug, Im going to sip that puppy into my briefcase.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #boss requested, #3 weeks, #organized, #wasting time, #meeting about, #brew coffeee, #exaggerating accomplishments, #business

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The Boss interrupts a meeting and says, "Dilbert, can you come with me to a meeting?" Dilbert responds, "Actually, no. I'm running this meeting and it took three weeks to get everyone together." Dilbert says, "If I leave now, sixteen people will be wasting their time." Wally says, "I'll cover for you." Dilbert says to Wally, "You will?" Wally replies, "Sure. Just leave your notes and I'll take care of it." Dilbert follows The Boss and says, "What's the meeting about?" The Boss responds, "It's not exactly a meeting." The Boss, "I need someone to drink the crud on the bottom and then brew a fresh pot." Back at the meeting, Wally calls a vote, "All in favor of leaving before he gets back." Everyone raises their hands. Dilbert returns to an empty meeting. He thinks, "It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ideas for boosting morale, #employee pot luck, #schedule conflcits, #brings small meal, #pviep

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Does anyone have any ideas for boosting morale?" Wally raises his hand, "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!" Wally says, "The employee potluck lunch that we had last year was almost perfect." Wally continues, "But we only had it once and some people had schedule conflicts." Wally continues, "I call my idea the 'Permanent Virtual Individual Employee Potluck' or P.V.I.E.P for short." Wally continues, "Every day, each employee brings a small meal in a bag and eats it whenever he gets hungry." The Boss says, "You already do that. " Wally replies, "And look how happy I am!" The Boss says, "Okay, who is going to organize the P.V.I.E.P.?" Wally responds, "Alice hasn't helped yet." Alice cringes in anger.